JESUS' WEEN

Halloween started off as something much different than what it's become, but it's still way too evil for some people.

And by some people, I mean Evangelical Christians.

The origins of the holiday aren't exact, with some people attributing it to Romans and others saying it evolved from an and old Celtic festival. Either way, it's become basically one day a year (that gets stretched out an entire month) for people to celebrate scary things, dress up in costumes and eat candy. No one uses it as an excuse to raise the dead or hold sacrifices.

But Christians are getting upset (like they always do) about the fact that it's a holiday that doesn't celebrate Jesus. So they're taking it back.

Not only that, they're giving it an awesome new name: Jesus' Ween.

Okay, I'll admit that I added the apostrophe at the end of Jesus, but that doesn't make it any less silly.

I think this means that Christians will be handing out bibles and facts about God on October 31, largely as a promotional stunt for the first two weeks in November which is some sort of festival called "Jesus Win!"

But still, JesusWeen? That's just ridiculous.

I have plenty of Christian friends and I like seeing them and talking to them. We just can't talk about Christianity or God. I can't listen to them talking about a man in the sky watching over us, or how God placed dinosaur bones on the earth to test our faith. I can't keep a straight face listening to that, so it's just better to avoid it.

And for what it's worth, I don't go out of my way to talk about NOT being Christian or anything like that. Fair is fair.

What are the chances of Jesus' Ween actually replacing Halloween? I bet the odds are pretty slim—mostly because of the name.

Jesus' Ween. They have a website and everything.