DANZIG IS, INDEED, A GOD DAMN SON OF A BITCH

Fun, Fun, Fun Fest happened over the weekend in Texas. I would have loved to go, except for the fact that I hate both fests and Texas.

A lot of cool bands played, which would have been fun to see, but more importantly, Danzig played. Kind of.

Danzig, much like Metallica, has only gone downhill over the past few years. Once upon a time, he was a metal god that could do no wrong and before that, he was a punk rock icon. But that was a long time ago, before things like this happened and things like this happened.

Now, he's just a cranky old man who stands around awkwardly in bad videos for even worse songs. He could also give J-Lo a run for her money in the diva department.

Over at Punknews.org, they've taken the liberty of putting together Fun, Fun, Fun Fest organizer Graham Williams' rundown of his Day with Danzig this past Friday.

Glenn flies in this morning and says he has a cold, and doesn't feel like playing the show. He demands French onion soup and vitamins brought to his hotel suite. He wants to soup now and wants it hot. We get it.
Glenn says it's freezing in Austin and he can't go on. Says it's going to be 28 degrees tonight and he won't perform (keep in mind, it's currently 71 and sunny with a night forecast of maybe 50+). He says we have to move the show/festival inside if we want him to play (obviously, that's not possible).
We rent stage heaters (no other bands, public enemy, mcd, passion pit, etc need or want heaters on stage... It's warm up there and not cold out) for glenn per demand, as well as bring in an onsite doctor to make him happy and be there if his cold doesn't go away.
Glenn arrives at 7:45 (half hour before showtime, they go on at 8:15 exactly and have a 90 min set. Park curfew by the city/police is 10pm sharp). When he arrives, he says he's not going to play. Says he doesn't like how the banners are hung on stage, and doesn't like the lighting or stage size (all this was advanced in email and phone, well in advance, and the band/crew loaded in mid day, and were happy with it, and said it would work. Stage wasn't small at all). He wouldn't leave his trailer to go look at the stage, though, so the lighting company drew up specs for him to look at, of the stage lighting 50 feet from his trailer, and brought it to him to look over and prove him wrong.
In the meantime, Glenn's bodyguard gets pushy (literally) with Murder City Devils' manager, and tells them they can't have their friends watch MCD from stage, and wants them to cut their set. Kicks them off stage and gets physical with the band and staff. Oh, also Danzig says he's just as big as Slayer, and Slayer is playing a bigger stage on sunday, and that's bullshit and wants to play the same stage slayer is playing... or won't play. Makes him look bad.
It's now 8:15 and time for them to go on. The band is ready, corpse make up's done, guitars tuned. Glenn says he's not playing, and that it's too cold outside. He said big stages should have windscreen, so wind can't blow on him from the side. The stage managers then go and gets tarps, and tarp the entire side of the stage so no wind will hit him.
It's now 8:40. we explain that it's cutting into the set, and he's going to have cut the 90 min set if he doesn't play soon, as park curfew is 10. He says he doesn't feel like playing. Says "I got a deathbug. If i go on stage and get sick, I'll die. I'm not getting sicker for this show" (NOTE: He totally looks and seems fine... No coughing, no paleness, no vomiting, just some balding and a gut, from what i can tell). We get the Dr and he says he can do a b12 shot or anything he needs if he feels bad. Danzig says he only treats illnesses naturally, so won't do that. We finally get him to agree to play and have already informed his crew that it's only 60 mins (9pm at this point) and they start cutting some songs from the set list, so they can still do Misfits, but obviously didn't cut enough.
They went on almost an hour late due to the HANDS DOWN biggest rock star moment we've ever dealt with, and then he tries to start a riot and blames the fest, the city, the cops and everyone, but himself.Goes backstage and tries to fight a few people, and gets in the van and leaves.

Sounds like an awesome time, right? Even Slayer had to get in a few jabs at him. Now, of course, this is only one side to the story, but if anyone doesn't believe it, they've never had a run-in with Danzig before. I believe it. I've also had a run-in with Danzig before and can tell you firsthand that he is, indeed, a god damn son of a bitch.