MONDAY.

It started off great. I met Colby and Andrea for coffee at Atlas (where I regretted not getting something to eat or any treats the whole rest of the day) but that was the one and only highlight.

My flight was at 2:49, so I decided leaving the city by noon would get me there with plenty of time to spare. That assumption was incorrect. For more than a few reasons.

1. I got on the wrong train. Since I don't live there, and I'm actually pretty stubborn, I didn't actually ask anyone which train went to JFK. I saw one that said BROOKLYN and jumped on. Luckily I was only on it for two stops before I realized I was going the wrong direction. I jumped off at Penn Station, found the right train and got on. Problem was, it wasn't exactly the right train. I was headed the right direction, but the train I was riding didn't go all the way to the airport.

2. It was the slowest train I've ever been on. Usually, they go pretty fast, but this one just kind of crept through the city. If the doors were opened and I stuck my arm out, it wouldn't hurt. Might sting a little, but wouldn't cause any actual damage.

3. I got off the train at Rockaway Blvd so that I could catch the right train down to the Airtrain at JFK. That took another few minutes, but it finally came, I got on and was airport bound.

4. The Airtrain was down. Closed for repairs or something like that. Not the entire thing, just most of it. We were all herded downstairs and put on a bus that took us to the terminal loop. When I got on the bus, it was 1:50 (So, it took me from 12:30 until 1:50 to take the train from West 4th Street all the way to JFK). When the bus finally dropped us where the Airtrain was running again, it was 2:15. I had to go through 5 stops, but finally got to my terminal.

5. It was a ten minute walk from where the train dropped me off to security. There was a ticketing kiosk at the end of the tunnel, so I didn't have to wait in any lines to print my boarding pass, but security was a different story all together.

6. The guy in front of me had a carry-on bag, a backpack (with a laptop he hadn't taken out yet), a coat, boots and a sweater. He waited until he got to the counter to start getting ANYTHING ready. So I cut in front of him. He was pissed, but didn't say anything. Just kept giving me dirty looks and ramming his little plastic tub into mine. Then, while my bag was halfway through the scanner, I realized I'd forgotten to take my mouthwash out. It set off the alarm or whatever and one of the agents had to search my bag. It didn't take long, but it was 2:30 by then, so as soon as she was done, I grabbed everything and took off. I got to the plane just as the last few people were lining up.

But...

7. Apparently if you check in a little late, JetBlue gives away your seat. I chose 9D (an aisle) but when I looked at my printed boarding pass, I was in 24F. Not bad except for 5 things- children. There were 5 little kids to my left and behind me all between the ages of 9 months to three years old. You have any idea how restless 5 kids get on a 5 hour flight? Use your imagination. If I was ever thinking about having kids anytime soon, this set me back at least a few more years.

8. We sat on the runway for an hour before we actually took off. Probably longer, because I took a nap, watched half an episode of According to Jim, an entire episode of The Office and half a Friends ep before we were actually in the air.

And that's where we are now. I'm somewhere over Nebraska typing as all these children shriek and scream. Unfortunately, my hearing isn't bad enough to ignore it.

Oh, and right after we took off, the battery in my iPod died and the sound stopped working on my little seatback TV.

So good flight all around, right?