HEREAFTER

Where do I even start with this one? I'm a fan of Clint Eastwood as an outlaw, Dirty Harry and a racist old man. As a director? Not so much.

GRAN TORINO was good, despite the fact that every actor in that movie was god awful but I haven't really cared for anything he's directed for a long, long time other than that (never saw MILLION DOLLAR BABY and MYSTIC RIVER didn't do much). So when the Sunday Night Movie selection came down and HEREAFTER was the choice, I just kind of shrugged and went along.

Man, that was a long, long 129 minutes. I know it was that long, because halfway through I used my phone to look up the running time so I knew how much longer I was going to have to sit there.

The movie ran three different stories that you knew were going to eventually merge into one, but it took so long to get there. Also, every character had at least one cringe-inducing awkward scene with Matt Damon. If you took just those scenes out of context of the movie they would be the most awkward/inappropriate things ever committed to film—especially the last scene in Matt Damon's hotel room.

Better yet, it all climaxed at the exciting location of the London Book Fair, because that's the place everyone wants to be.

Unfortunately the two biggest stories never got any resolution (one of them kind of did) and I realized we just sat through two hours of build up so we could watch Matt Damon fantasize about what might happen.

God damn you, Eastwood. Make another pissed off, racist old man movie. Just this time get some better actors.

And the rest of you, stay away from HEREAFTER.