It said my name. I still had a MySpace page.
I'd forgotten all about it and thought I deleted it long ago, but that wasn't the case. So naturally, I looked through it. I hadn't updated a single thing in nearly two years and I couldn't even remember the last time I logged on—though it was probably around the time Collapse was still playing, which was early 2010. I went through the process of deleting it, because there's no point in having it if I never use it, but I chickened out at the last second. I'd already saved all the photos, but I'd forgotten about the blog. I used the MySpace blog a lot before I started this one and wanted to see if there was still anything up there and sure enough, there was.
I'd detailed our trip to Thom Green's wedding way back in early 2006 and wanted to make sure I kept it. So here it is, the ghost of my MySpace blog coming back one last time.
More Fun Than Your Weekend: The complete saga
(Part 1)
I realized that, as the clock turned 8:00 we weren't leaving at 7 as planned. No worries, though, it's not like we had anywhere to be in a great hurry. 8:15 rolls up, and the phone rings. It's Brook. "Hey, we're a couple of blocks away." I grab my stuff and I'm gone.
Nate and I discuss how we're both chronic over-packers, as I brought a bag of clothes for 5 days (when we're only gone 3) a side bag with my personal effects, a pillow and a sleeping bag. More than anyone else in the car, and 4 more days worth of clothes than Brook, who I think brought things for the wedding and what he had on.
Stopped at the Flying J in Nephi to load up on Rockstars. Not me, or course, because those things are terrible. Mike, Nate and Brook inhaled them and we were good to go. In St. George, they bought another can to give them the boost they needed to play cards when we rolled in to Mesquite. They played cards while I sat and drank coffee in the Casino Coffee Shop, because really, cards are stupid. It didn't last very long, and we left for Brook's parents house to stay the night.
The next morning, Brook's mom made us hash browns and kept calling me Charlie. I had no idea she was, but that's probably because I ignored every question asked to whoever in the house was named Charlie. Little did I know it was me.
Back on the road, more Rockstars, and Big Mike behind the wheel. In Primm, we figured out that Nate is a bit of a social deviant because he feels the need to cause some sort of destruction wherever he goes. He kept wanting to let air out of the tires of huge trucks because every time he looked out the window, he saw work and that upset him. He settled for "acquiring" some glasses that he and Mike took turns wearing throughout the weekend. They were pretty damn hip.
As we roll into Redlands, the first thing we do is eat. What we eat is, of course, burritos from Cuco's. As usual, I am the last one to get food by at least ten minutes. Everyone is already done, and I eat one before making the trip to Loomis the Turkish Tank's house to greet everyone. We bullshit for a while, and decide to go looking for a hotel before Thom's "bacherlor party"/show.
Three hotels we try, all in declining quality, were booked for the weekend and we finally find one in the form of a Super 8.
(Part 1.5)
Before I go any further, I forgot to tell you about a funny story that occured on the drive...
Nate spent a little bit of time talking about this girl, for reasons left unsaid, and how the two of them had become AIM buddies, so he was talking to her on the Sidekick. Brook really wanted to know who it was, but Nate wasn't about to give that information away, mainly because he thought it was funny how badly Brook wanted to know. The next day in the car, Nate was riding shotgun talking to her and Brook was behind him. Since Brook has the "adult version" of a Sidekick aka a Blackberry, he cued up his own AIM and proceeded to try and steal said girl's AIM name over Nate's shoulder. Neither Mike or Nate knew what was going on, but I was wise to the whole scheme and eagerly awaited the end result.
A few minutes pass and Brook is sitting, as Nate put it, "like a small bunny" crouched on the back seat, when Nate looks at Brook, notices he's on AIM and says, "Who are you talking to?"
"Scott," Brook replies, "who are you talking to?"
Nate thinks for a second and says, "Scott."
A few seconds pass, Nate looks back at his SKII, and slowly turns back to Brook. Hilarity ensued as Brook became a punching bag for a brief moment, but a good laugh was had by all in the end.
(Part 2)
Located on Super 8 Motel Road in Redlands California, you'll find the nicest place to stay in all of California. At $63 a night, it was quite a bargain and we checked in, took our stuff up and I ate my other burrito that I had been saving for about an hour.
This hotel room may have been one of the ghettoest I've seen in all my years of hotel occupation. It is eclipsed only by the The Super 8 in Huntington and whatever it was called in Grand Island, Nebraska. That one had cockroaches and no heat.
I tried to get Nate and Mike to share a bed, but they thought it was a ridiculous notion that the two biggest dudes should share. Nate and I became bunk mates as well as Nate and Brook. Mike pulled back the covers only to reveal a blanket that he was convinced had small pox, so he wouldn't allow it on the bed. The comforter, also had a light brown stain towards the bottom, so that was out as well.
As Nate rolled over on his side, he looked at the wall and informed me that there were stab marks in the wall. 4 of them. As well as a nice long slash mark. Above the door, there was a little graffiti piece and the chain lock was missing. Frankly, it looked like it had been kicked in, and that made us all feel a little better. There was also no alarm clock. All in all, we picked a real winner.
That night was Thom's bachelor party/show, so we all headed over there for the night. After the show was over, Mike decided that we should hit up the Food 4 Less for Chocolate syrup and soymilk. Apparently it's much more delicious than the regular Chocolate Silk, so we gave it a try. After that, we hit up another place for more burritos before heading up to the "after party" at some dudes giant house. Mike's attempt at his own Chocolate Milk was a disaster, as he used 3/4ths of the chocolate, making it so thick no one could get past a single sip.
Then it was back to our bad ass hotel to call it a night. Nate was convinced that as soon as the lights were out it would be giggle-fest 2K6 and we'd all laugh until 6 in the morning. I think that's just because Nate gets a huge kick out of making Mike laugh harder than he should about anything. Especially tickling.
After a little while of those types of shennanigans, we all fell asleep to Hayden Fox and old re-runs of Coach. And giggling, of course....
(Part 3)
Saturday morning, we all woke up pretty early, but then went back to sleep and woke up again around noon. It was the day of the wedding, so we all had to get dressed to impress before hitting up The Lotus Garden for lunch. Nate didn't have any pants that fit, so we took time at the local Mervyn's while he get a pair. The problem was, they didn't have anything longer than a 29, so it looked as if he was wearing flood pants.
He changed in the parking lot of while Brook, Mike and myself went inside. Mike grabbed the sunglasses from the truck stop, but them on and grabbed Brook's arm, pretending to be blind. Brook had a little trouble keeping a straight face, as did I, but went along with it. We got to our table, and Brook let go of Mike's arm, but still wanting to keep up the charade, Mike walked right in to the bus boy and almost knocked him over, felt his way to our table and sat down. I held the menu over my face when he asked the waiter for a braille menu and Brook had to struggle through saying, "I'll read it to you." When the waiter came back, Mike asked if he could have some tea. The waiter was a little confused because the tea was on the table right in front of Mike, but poured him a cup and Mike felt his way to it to have a drink.
After a few minutes of that, Mike got bored and took the glasses off. The waiter and bus boy that Mike had run into were a little put off by the whole thing, but did their best to contain themselves.
The wedding was at 2:30 and we made it there just in time. It was outside at a sort of ampitheater, and there were quite a few people there. We made our way over to the other seven SLC kids that came down that morning, and they were all wearing Hawaiian shirts they picked up at Smith's Market Place before they left. During the ceremony, Blake began making quiet jokes and Mike just about lost it. He was trying so hard not to laugh that his face was bright red, and tears were welling up in his eyes. It looked like he was so caught up in the beauty of the moment he might cry. Nope. Just listening to Blake make jokes under his breath.
The reception was next, and it took us a few tries to find it. When the Redlands kids started following us, because they didn't know either, we thought we'd never find it. A few tries around the school and we finally found the gym. Thom and Krissi weren't there yet, so the food was off limits until they showed up, but that didn't stop Blake from taking a piece.
After the newlyweds showed up and the food was fair game, everyone made their way over. Mike, Brook and Nate came back over with cheesecake, cupcakes and a few other things, and a huge smile.
"All that stuff is vegan?" I asked.
"Yeah," said Mike, "Little Ryan told me there was vegan cheesecake, and there was a sign that said vegan on half the table."
Being skeptical, Ben and I went to partake in the delicious treats, but asked first.
The only things that were vegan was the cookies, some type of apple fritter and the cheesecake that hadn't been brought out yet. There were a few signs that said "vegan" but only next to a select few items. Nothing that those dudes ate being the select few.
After the reception, it was off to Cuco's again, but I was all burritoed out, so Brook and I waited in the car as the rest of the dudes got food, then it was back to our hotel to plan the next move.
(Part 4)
The second we got back to the room, we all changed out of our wedding clothes and into more comfortable attire. For Mike, this was Gym shorts and nothing else. He crawled under the covers, and Brook and I lied on our beds and turned on the TV. After about an hour, Nate started to get restless and forced us all to go to the beach and Taco Loco. I wasn't too into it at first, but then the hungrier I got, the better it sounded. Especially since there would be no burritos involved. Brook said he's go as long as we didn't have to take his car. The other dudes from SLC rolled up, with another car in tow, so we were off. Nate jumped in the mini-van leaving Mike, Brook and I in the car with some girl that we didn't know. We rode to an apartment complex to pick up a few more people, and as soon as we stopped, Mike jumped ship leaving Brook and I with Ryan and some broad.
At the gas station, another girl came up and said, "If you guys want to ride in the other car, I'll ride in here..." We didn't even wait for her to finish. Brook and I jumped out, ran to the other car, pushed Conor out of the way and jumped in. Conor looked mildly upset for about three seconds, then took our old spot.
The drive there takes about 45 minutes to an hour, and was rather boring. I watched Brook fuck around on AIM and the internet for a few minutes, but then he began texting this babe, and since we all know you don't read another man's texts, I was left to my own devices. That meant texting McCall and telling her to meet us at Taco Loco, which she did along with her BF.
We bullshitted in front of Taco Loco for a bit, and headed down to the beach. I chatted with McCall and Nicholas while a few other guys walked up the beach, and the rest of the kids watched a few others go swimming in 50 degree weather. Some of them had fewer clothes on than others, and we all got a pretty good idea of just how cold the ocean was.
I drove back to Redlands even though I had no idea where I was going, and the windshield wipers made a scraping sound that drove me insane. I had to have them on the whole way back, though and at one point I thought I might tear them off and take my chances with impaired, rain soaked vision. I didn't though, and we made it back to our hotel alive.
Mike and Nate walked in about 20 minutes after we did and Mike had a water bottle full of sand. Brook made fun of him for a minute, and it turns out that everyone that broke away from the group had taken a sand souvenier for one reason or another. *coughgirlcough*
Cute, isn't it?
The next morning, we tried to leave at nine and I had to set the alarm on my phone, as our room did not come with one. At about 9:05 I finally woke up to the phone vibrating, turned it off and went back to sleep. We got all ready to go and were on our way out the door about 11. But first, Nate decided that he should see what was underneath Brook and Mike's matress, so he lifted it up and found a nice little surprise... A half empty bottle of Courvoisier and a soiled rag. We began laughing, but were taken back in horror as Mike picked up the rag for some reason. Yes. The man who would not allow the comforter on the bed because of a questionable stain and was convinced the other blanket had small pox, touched, with his bare hand mind you, a stiff, soiled rag he found under the matress of a Super 8 next to an old bottle of Courvoisier.
Nate, being the social deviant that he is, felt the need to pour chocolate syrup around the bottle in a sort of word balloon. No real reason other than it seemed like a good idea at the time.
And with that, we packed up our stuff and were on our way to Vegas.
(Part 5)
Since I know you're sick of these things, you'll be glad to know this is the last one. Sorry for taking up precious bulletin space.
The last day of the trop consisted of more driving time than hanging out time, and that's never fun. Especially since I was riding shotgun most of the way while Brook slept and Nate listened to his iPod. We were making a run through Vegas to hit up a surprise birthday party for this broad named Breon. I'd only met this girl once, so I wasn't as excited as the other dudes to go, but I figured it could be a good time anyway.
While Mike drove, I tried to think of good music to keep him alert while he drove, since the radio tuned out the farther away we got from the city. I cued up Saves the Day's Through Being Cool and it was sing-along central for about half an hour, but I kind of fumbled from then on.
We made it to Vegas in barley three hours and headed for the Wild Oats so we could get some lunch before the party. We had about two hours to kill and all of us were hungry. We met up with a few Redlands kinds and the Ohio dudes and killed a little time.
After that was got old, we decided to hit up the best place to kill time in the entire world: Barnes & Noble. Brook told the other car to follow him, but he took us on a roundabout trip that took a little while longer than we expected. As we pulled into the parking lot, he confessed that there was a B&N right down the street from Wild Oats, but had a crush on the girl that worked at the one we were at. So he made up a story about getting lost and trying his best to find one. It worked out all right.
Breon's sister opened the door for us and was amazed that we had the insight to not park right in front of their house. Apparently she mistook us for someone that's lived an incredibly sheltered life and we knew nothing of the art of surprise. I was offended. Okay, that's a lie.
At the birthday party there were three bottles of silly string sitting on the counter, and Mike, Brook and I each grabbed one. I felt a little strange about doing so, because I felt I didn't know Breon well enough to be spraying her with Silly String this early in our relationship. I held on to it anyway. We passed the time waiting for her playing with the new puppy they had and being amazed at the size of her other dog. It was gigantic, and that's not even a little bit of an exaggeration.
When the garage door finally opened, we all hid around the corner and waited. As soon as we saw her come around the corner, everyone began screaming and we unloaded let loose with the Silly String. Only it wasn't her. It was her mom. We wasted the good surprise on the mom, but still wasted the rest of our String on Breon.
The 24 kids from AZ showed up eventually and we began to initiate Big Chris into x1upx crew. He drew the barn on the first try and was welcomed with open arms. I had been inducted to the crew a few days prior, but almost dropped out when Nate told me I had to wear a party hat that read "One Up Noob" for the rest of the party. That kind of shit just won't slide, crew or not.
At about 8:00 we were on the road again headed for home. I fell asleep outside Vegas, but it only lasted a few minutes. We stopped at the store in St. George where Nate and Mike bought sandwich supplies and we were back on the road. I felt a little left out because Nate was on AIM and Brook and Mike were both texting again, so I hooked up my iPod and listened to Weezer for a while. Just past Cedar City we hit what may have been the worst weather I've ever had to drive in. The fog was so thick the end of the hood was barely visible and to top it off, it was snowing. Brook just tried his best, but if had driven off the road we wouldn't have known until we hit something and the car stopped.
About fifteen minutes away from home, we saw a cop stopped on the side of the freeway. Not thinking anything of it, Mike just kept going 90 mph right past him.
"You saw that cop, right?"
Yeah," said Mike, still doing close to 90, "why?"
Just then, Mike looked in his rearview saw the flashing lights, and said, "Oh. Speeding. Right."
The cop let us off with a warning, but did ask if we had a gun in the car, because of Brook's Concealed Weapons Permit. Fortunately, Brook had taken it out of the glove box before we left. Otherwise, there might have been another section written from the police station.
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