Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts

Friday, December 2, 2016

IT'S FRIDAY, IT'S 11:30, IT'S TIME TO PARTY...

I waited until the last possible minute to write this one. I've had a cold for the past few days, and this was the first day I felt like getting out of the house, so I ran some errands and then just drove around aimlessly listening to podcasts.

My next door neighbor/friend Danny is out of town for the month, and I've thought about pulling a George Costanza just to be out of my own apartment.


Luckily, Casey had a night off (which is what he calls a night when his wife doesn't have plans for the two of them), and the two of us went to see BAD SANTA 2.

Before I go any further, I'd just like to say that if there was anyone in this world that resembles (in life choices and behavior) George Costanza more than Casey, I don't know who it is. The resemblance to life situations is truly insane.

Anyway, BAD SANTA 2 is terrible. We both knew it would be, but weren't in the mood for something heavy/dramatic. We figured we'd get a couple of cheap laughs and call it a night. We each laughed exactly one time.  It's just boring, and mean-spirited. The first one was mean-spirited, but it had charm to go along with it. Not this time.

Before I left though, I spent two full hours playing Dr. Mario on the little NES Classic that just came out. I got it about a month ago, and have been getting pretty good at it (there's also 29 other games built in, but I honestly don't care about any of them). For some reason though, it took me until today to realize that I could turn off the music on the game and just listen to Spotify instead. It was much better. I also found a playlist that I made back when I was writing boring web content at Clearlink, so most of the songs remind me of HVAC systems and asphalt paving companies, but they're still good.

That's about it. Like I said, my life is boring as shit, but I'm forcing myself to write every single day, so this will have to do. Thanks for sticking with me. Here's a treat for you. Hopefully they remind you of something other than a cubicle and plumbing companies that start with the letter "A" because the phone book was super important at one point in time.


Thursday, December 1, 2016

HALF-ASSED REVIEWS

The only upside (for me, at least) about winter is that I finally get caught up on a ton of movies that I missed earlier in the year.

As I've written about before, I used to go to movies at least once a week—sometimes even more. But slowly, as my friends got married and had children, the Sunday movie group got smaller and smaller until it didn't exist at all. Now everyone sees movies when they can get a babysitter, when it comes on iTunes, or shows up on HBO. Granted, that's how I catch most movies these days, too. A few times a month, I'll catch a matinee or late show on my own though.

Side note here: If anyone ever tells you it's weird to go to movies alone, don't listen to them. It's awesome. I have a friend who thinks this and I just ignore him, but seriously, don't let anyone shame you for doing this. It's awesome. You don't have to share popcorn or anything.

I've got a shelf full of Criterion DVD's that I plan to work through this winter, but we'll get to those later.

This week alone I've caught three movies. Two of them I've wanted to see for a while and one just came out.

HELL OR HIGH WATER - I love a good bank robber movie and this was the best one I've seen in a long time. Jeff Bridges is in it as the near-retirement sheriff of a small West Texas town, and the two main bank robbing characters are my Hollywood doppelgänger Ben Foster*, and a guy I wish was my Hollywood doppelgänger Chris Pine. This is a lean, really well made movie and I loved every minute of it. Foster, Pine, and Bridges are all great in it and it's just the kind of movie I've been missing lately. It's one story, told really well, end to end. There's no need for a sequel, there's no reason to try and wring a prequel out of it, and it has no business as a full season TV show. It's in and out in 110 minutes. It's great.

*I went to a Halloween Party at a bar this year, but didn't have a costume put together, so I just wore my normal clothes and two people asked if I was dressed as Ben Foster from ALPHA DOG. TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE!)

COP CAR - I tried to catch this at Sundance a few years ago but couldn't get in, then kind of forgot about it. Then it was announced that the director, Jon Watts, would be helming the new Marvel version of SPIDER-MAN and remembered I wanted to see it. Then I forgot about it until I was browsing HBO and saw it on there. This is another example of a tight little thriller that had just as much story as time they told it in. Two kids find an abandoned cop car in the woods as they're running away from home, find the keys and take it for a joyride. Only problem is that it belongs to the corrupt sheriff who desperately wants it back. This movie, much like HELL OR HIGH WATER, has a somewhat ambiguous ending. I liked HELL OR HIGH WATER's ending more. This one could have benefitted from being a few minutes longer, but it was still really fun, and Shea Wigham should be in more things. Hell, put him in all the things. I won't complain.

THE EDGE OF SEVENTEEN - I knew nothing about this movie until is was released last week, then I watched a trailer and decided to see it ASAP. I've always loved awkward high school stories—like most John Hughes movies, ELECTION, EASY A, etc.—so this looked right up my alley. It stars Hailee Steinfeld, who was in the Coen Brother's TRUE GRIT (and a bunch of other movies I haven't seen, and is apparently also a pop star), as a girl whose only friend starts dating her older brother, and the terrible choices she makes while dealing with that. Woody Harrelson, who is always great, is also in it as her favorite teacher at school. It's not an amazing movie by any means, but it was damn entertaining.

I suggest you see all of these if you have time. Good stuff.

Monday, December 1, 2014

LET'S ANALYZE THAT TRAILER, SHALL WE?

How much can we get out of a 96 second movie trailer? A lot.

As I was looking at Twitter after I woke up on Friday morning, I started seeing screencaps of a newly released movie trailer. I'm still trying really hard to only watch trailers at movie theaters, but sometimes I can't resist and watch them at home. I'd already seen so many stills and GIFS, that I gave in.

I've already watched this thing like 15 times, but let's go ahead and do a hard analysis of the trailer for Carmen Electra's new movie, LAP DANCE, and just try to figure out what everything means.



Now that you've had a chance to watch it, let's get right to it.

First, there's that iconic Texas sky that we all know and love—because it played a very important part in the FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS TV series.

Next, we get our first glimpse of the person we'll be spending this journey with: Ali Cobrin. Notice that Ali Cobrin is NOT Carmen Electra who, even though we've collectively forgotten about her since she's 15 years removed from popularity, gets top billing and is the face of the movie. Nope. Cobrin doesn't have a long history of acting credits, but you may recognize her from that one time you watched AMERICAN REUNION because you were bored.

Remember, this is a trailer and not a teaser, so we have to get a few actual plot details. This is where we find out that Cobrin and her boyfriend need money because he hasn't sold his script yet, her father is dying of cancer AND there's a dreaded yellow foreclosure notice on their front door. 

What's a girl to do in this situation? Well, start stripping of course! Because it's super easy, and as MAGIC MIKE taught us, strip clubs will pretty much hire anyone that wanders in off the street looking for money.

Now we're getting somewhere! Stripping is a great way to make money, and Monica's only going to try it for a week, so it'll be no problem. But as the trailer will soon tell us, "Fast money comes... At a dangerous price." Also, we're now exactly halfway through this thing and we haven't even seen Carmen Electra yet!

Oh. There she is. Okay. We're good. By the way, this movie is also based on a true story, which basically means that nothing nearly as dramatic happened. In reality, this girl probably got a job at a strip club, made pretty great money and went on living her life almost exactly the same as she had before. But that's not exciting. You know what is exciting?


A Ron Fucking Jeremy cameo! Now we're getting somewhere, and that somewhere is "generic trailer notes." At this point, the narrator tells us that "It's the money that brings girls in. It's the attention that keeps them coming back."


The rest pretty much hits all the beats it's supposed to. There's tension in the relationship, Monica admits that she's lost control, blah, blah, blah, swelling music, montage of possible girl-on-girl action, lens flares, and BAM! The title pops up and it's all over.

That was an intense minute and a half, wasn't it? Well don't worry, because we don't even have to wait that long to actually see this masterpiece.

It'll be released this coming Friday. Whether or not it will be in actual movie theaters remains to be seen. 

But in 4 months or so when it pops up on Showtime at 3 AM, just when you've just finished binge-watching HOMELAND for 6 hours, you can watch a few minutes of it. All the best parts were probably already in the trailer though. Except for maybe the nudity.

Wait. Did you think I was going to be writing about the new STAR WARS trailer? Oh. Well. Shit. Sorry everyone.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

SEE THESE NOW


Summertime means a lot of things. It means swimming, hiking, bbq, patio eating, iced coffee, road trips, World Cup games (this one has been great) and tons of other fun stuff. Most of that takes place outside, which is exactly where you're supposed to be during the summer months.

But sometimes it's just too hot for any of that. There are few things that are more enjoyable and give you a nice break from the sweltering heat than sitting inside a nice, air-conditioned theater and catching a movie. Plenty of great movies get released over the summer, but there are two playing right now that you should see immediately.

SNOWPIERCER - Seriously, if you like weird, character-driven, brilliantly made sci-fi movies like BLADE RUNNER, BRAZIL, or ALIENS, you'll want to see this immediately. Sometime in the future, an attempt at stopping global warming fails miserably and immediately freezes the entire planet. The only survivors were the people that were rich enough to afford a ticket on the Snowpiercer—a train with a perpetual-motion engine that travels around the world non-stop. At the last minute, others that couldn't afford the price rushed the platform and boarded the train before the doors started. For 17 years, the rich lived a life of luxury at the front of the train, while the poor languished at the back. Chris Evans is one of those stuck at the back and fed up with being fed only protein bars and decides to lead a revolution.

I don't want to say much else for fear of ruining it. I saw it last Saturday and loved every second of it. Evans is fantastic (as he is in everything he does lately), John Hurt plays a wounded veteran of past uprisings, Tilda Swinton is the spokesperson for those at the front of the train, including Wilford—the creator and operator of Snowpiercer. It's full of amazing, claustrophobic action, great character moments and stunning visuals. I haven't seen anything like it in a long, long time. It's out in theaters now and will be released for On Demand this weekend. Look for it.

EDGE OF TOMORROW - Look, I know what you're thinking because I had the same thought: I fucking hate Tom Cruise. He's not a bad actor, and he plays essentially the same character in every single movie he headlines. It's just that his personal life was so encompassing for a while that it made me sick of him. But he is FANTASTIC in this movie and Emily Blunt, who is always great, goes toe to toe with him every step of the way. I really thought it was going to be a dour, boring movie like so many futuristic war movies, but I was 100% wrong. It was directed by Doug Liman, a guy that I've always loved, and I always forget that he likes to make his movies fun.

Aliens have taken over most of the world and humanity is losing badly. Tom Cruise is a military PR guy that gets thrown into battle dying almost immediately because the aliens have anticipated the attack. As soon as he dies, he wakes up the previous morning, unsure of what's happened but remembering everything. He tries to convince his squadron that their demise is inevitable, but they won't listen. Each time he dies, he wakes up again in the same place. In one of his encounters, he tries to save another soldier (Blunt) who believes him and tells him to find her when he wakes up. She tries to teach him how to defend himself from the aliens long enough to stop them.

If you're thinking "that kind of sounds like a war version of GROUNDHOG DAY" you're right. But the similarities end there. It's a much, much better movie than I gave it credit for going in and I promise that you'll love it.

So there you go. Go see both of those movies. The only two other movies I'm looking forward to this summer are DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES and GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY. If those are half as good as these two (and I think they'll both be great), we're in for a good summer at the movies.


Friday, May 16, 2014

YOUR WEBSITE AS YOUR PERSONAL MIXTAPE

Last year, when I started my new career as a desk jockey at boring corporate institutions, my first "challenge" was to write a blog post. Easy enough, I figured. The goal was for the three of us on the copywriting team to write and publish a piece about the Internet. Broad enough topic, right? One person wrote about keywords, one wrote about customer reach and I took a page from HIGH FIDELITY and wrote about turning your website into a kick-ass mixtape.

The goal was to see who got the most page views over the course of a month and the winner got $500 (well, $377 after taxes. God damn government). I used every trick I knew and called in every favor I could and eventually won. I posted a HIGH FIDELITY meme on Tumblr with a link to the piece embedded in the image and I still get "reblog" and "like" notifications about it to this day. It has almost 4,000 notes and is definitely the most popular thing I've ever posted. It's pretty stupid what works on that site.

It's been a year since the contest ended, so I figured I'd post my entry up here since I no longer work for that company, and that company doesn't really exist anymore anyway. If you helped me out by sharing it, I still appreciate it, and to show my thanks, I compiled all the songs that I listed into a cool playlist at the bottom. Using a Spotify embed flies against everything I wrote about in this piece, but it's just so much easier, right?

Enjoy!

Your Website as Your Personal Mixtape

The Internet is a weird, wild place. There are so many different avenues and alleyways to explore that you’ll never see it all. But getting there is half the fun, right?

When you have your own website—whether it’s a site for a small business, your writing, or just your personal blog—it can be hard to get noticed and it won’t just happen overnight. Building up a website requires building up a web presence. You need to be active all over the place and have your hands in a few different social pies for your website to grow. But beyond that, first and foremost, your site content has to be better than the rest.

In order for someone to choose your site out the endless abyss that is the Internet, you need to have a voice of your own. The content has to be interesting and informative, sure, but you need to stick out from the pack. You need to be a unique voice that rises to the surface.

The best way to do that is to approach your blog or website the same way you’d put together a mixtape.

You remember those, right?

Back before Spotify and YouTube playlists were shared and available at the click of a mouse, you had to physically hand someone a cassette tape. A tape that you put together through hard work of pouring through every song in your collection and figuring out how to delicately express your own feelings through someone else’s poetry. It meant sitting in front of your stereo, listening to the radio, waiting for that one perfect song to come back on. You’d have a blank tape in the deck, cued up and ready to start as soon as you heard the opening notes. Then you’d spend the rest of the night timing the start of each song just right so as not to lose valuable space and making the most of those 30 minutes on each side.

It took a lot more effort than a simple drag and drop.

That’s kind of what building a website is like, too.

Getting that perfect website takes a lot of careful planning and lot of work goes into it. It’s a lot like crafting a mixtape, only you’re not giving it to one special person. Instead, you’re trying to separate yourself from, literally, millions of others. You’re trying to make your website that special thing that people want more of.

In order to do this, it’s always helpful to think back to one of the best movies (and books before it) ever made about music—HIGH FIDELITY.

In the movie, the venerable hero, Rob, played by John Cusack, spends a lot of time making mixtapes for the girls that he likes. He waxes intellectual about song choices and Top 5 lists and eventually reveals the ever-important rules.

“The making of a great compilation tape, like breaking up, is hard to do and takes ages longer than it might seem.” 

The concept is pretty simple, but you do have to put some thought into it. If you apply these same rules to your website, you’ll have a pretty great place that people are going to want to visit. You’ve got to get them there, make them stick around, and then ask them to spend a little bit of their day with you.

“You gotta kick off with a killer. Grab their attention.” 

This same formula has to be applied to websites and blogs. You get one chance to hook them before they hit that ‘back’ button and go looking for something else. It doesn’t necessarily have to be controversial or anything like that, but you need to have something at the top of the page that gets people to stop. They clicked the link and your site loaded; now you have to get them to stay there. That means you need to have an interesting headline or a unique idea that will pique someone’s curiosity and encourage them to read on. Your personality should be on full display from the first line of that site.

Suggested tracks: “All My Life” by Foo Fighters, “Bed For The Scraping” by Fugazi, “The Great Pan is Dead” by Cold Cave.

“Then you gotta take it up a notch…” 

Your biggest goal when building a website is to make it a place that people want to visit. You want them to remember it, bookmark it and keep coming back to it. The best way to do that is to have not only consistent content, but consistently good content. Once they’ve lingered on the page for a minute, reading that first headline, they need to be given a reason to stay a bit longer. That’s why headlines and first paragraphs are so important—those are the first things that people will see and read. You need to keep them engaged.

 It’s a little bit like when you get sucked into a STORAGE WARS marathon on TV. They run the credits over the final scene and dive right in to the next episode without a single break. It gets you every single time (or me, anyway). That’s what your website (and mixtape) need to master—get them in, but more importantly, keep them there.

Suggested tracks: “Trusty Chords” by Hot Water Music, “Born to Run” by Bruce Springsteen, “Gimmie Shelter” by The Rolling Stones.

 “…then you’ve gotta cool it off a notch.” 

This is about the time that people are going to get comfortable with your site and start looking around a little more in depth. It’s at about this spot that you can put in an old favorite or in the case of a blog, a recurring topic or a recurring feature. Maybe you have a certain topic that you spotlight once a week or so. This is about where it should go. You can’t try to constantly one-up yourself, because that’s when you start to overwhelm people. You need to let them settle in and get into a rhythm.

Suggested tracks: “Karma Police” by Radiohead, “Disintegration” by The Cure, “Avoiding Catatonic Surrender” by Tim Barry. 

You can’t get complacent though. Just because someone chose your website over the vast millions of others out there, it doesn’t mean they’re going to keep coming back just out of habit. This is where it gets tricky. You want to be able to attract new readers and new visitors as much as possible, but you don’t want to alienate the ones you’ve already got. This is the point on your blog/site/mixtape where you need to have confidence that your words and ideas are enough to keep people interested. You can write with confidence, and still take a few risks here and there. You’ve kept them around and coming back, they must agree with your taste so. At this point, you can afford to play around a little bit.

Suggested tracks: “Young Americans” by David Bowie, “Funny Little Frog” by Belle & Sebastian, “Rill Rill” by Sleigh Bells. 

“There are a lot of rules.” 

Since blogs and websites tend to be endless, there’s no need to build to that final closing track that brings the house down. But once you get into a rhythm of regular posting, recurring features and returning visitors, it will feel just like that, a rhythm. You’ll feel the ebb and flow of what people like, what they’re commenting on, what kind of interaction you’re getting and all that good stuff that keeps a site thriving. Once you’re there, it’ll start to feel a lot like your perfect mixtape will never have to end. As long as you keep posting, keeping things interesting and inviting a dialogue—whether through comments or emails—you’ll never need to end. But in the spirit of the topic, you need a closer. You need something that’s going to stick with them. It’s got to be a song that hits them right in the chest, makes them remember why they were so happy to get the tape from you in the first place.

Suggested tracks: “Love Spreads” by The Stone Roses, “Sweet Avenue” by Jets to Brazil, “Girls Like You” by The Naked and Famous, or the classic “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” by Simple Minds.

There you have it. That’s how you build your online profile and get people to decide that you and your site are worthy enough to be added to their bookmarks bar.

I’ve also given you a pretty great playlist to get you through your day. I can’t decorate it with a ballpoint pen, but this is close enough.

You’re welcome.


Friday, March 14, 2014

GREATEST UNSCRIPTED SCENES

The hardest part about being a screenwriter is probably having your stuff re-written all the time. Well, that and actually getting a project off the ground. That one is probably harder.

But what sounds good on the page doesn't always translate well to the screen, or it paves the way for a much better exchange. Screenplays are like blueprints in that way. All the information is there and will get you a precise, finished product, but there's always a little room for growth and change. That's especially true if you have talented people in front of the camera and a director that's willing to try things on the fly.

Some of the best scenes in movies have been pieces that weren't in the original script and made up on the fly. ScreenRant has a list of 32 of the greatest unscripted scenes. I dropped a few of my favorites below, but you should really head over and read the entire thing if you have the chance. There are tons more out there, but these are probably the most well known.

RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK - Gun vs. Sword
While chasing Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen) after she's been kidnapped, archaeologist and adventurer Dr. Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) runs into a large sword-wielding bad guy dressed all in black. Instead of fighting him in what would surely be a losing whip versus sword battle, Indy simply pulls out his revolver, puts the man down with one shot and moves on. The original script called for a long sword fight but a day earlier Ford got a severe case of food poisoning and didn't have the energy to film the scene as written. After a discussion with director Steven Spielberg, the scene was changed and became an iconic part of Indiana Jones mythos.

GOOD WILL HUNTING - The Farting Wife
In this scene between therapist Sean Maguire (Robin Williams) and math genius Will Hunting (Matt Damon), Williams proves that comedic-minded actors usually give the best ad libbed scenes. The entire story about Maguire's flatulent spouse was made up on the spot by Williams and not a part of the original script.

JAWS - "You're gonna need a bigger boat."
While chumming the waters in an attempt to lure the deadly great white shark within range, Police Chief Brody (Roy Scheider) gets his first look at exactly how massive the killer shark truly is. Stunned, startled and filled with fear he stands up and utters the now famous line to Orca Captain Quint (Robert Shaw) completely off-script, "You're going to need a bigger boat.” Turns out, he was right.

EMPIRE STRIKES BACK - "I know."
As smuggler-turned-hero Han Solo (Harrison Ford) is about to be encased in carbonite, Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher) reveals her love for him. The script called for Leia to say "I love you" to which Solo was supposed to respond with "I love you too". Ford decided that Solo wouldn't say something like that and instead, changed the line to simply "I know."

A CLOCKWORK ORANGE - "Singin' in the Rain"
Alex (Malcolm McDowell) breaks into a happy song as he and his "droogs" perform a bit of "ultra-violence" and rape. Reportedly Kubrick filmed this scene several times and wasn't happy with it each time - until he told McDowell to just "do anything he wanted". McDowell decided to belt out "Singing in the Rain" and Kubrick was so pleased with how much better the scene became that he acquired the rights to use the song immediately.

The story goes that after Gene Kelly, who made the song famous, actually saw the movie, he was furious. When Kelly, Kubrick and McDowell wound up at the same party at some point after the movie premiered, Kelly refused to speak to either of them.

TAXI DRIVER - "You talkin' to me?"
When screenwriter Paul Schrader wrote this scene it simply said "Travis talks to himself in the mirror" - there was no specific dialog given. Everything that insomnia-plagued taxi driver Travis Bickle (Robert De Niro) says during his faux-conversation was improvised by De Niro on the spot. To this day, whenever someone walks by a mirror they can't help but utter his now famous line "You talking to me?"

Thursday, March 13, 2014

10 LESSONS FOR DIRECTORS



Terry Gilliam has made some great films over the years. 12 MONKEYS, FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS and BRAZIL are probably the ones that spring to mind first, but a quick look through his IMDB page and you'll be impressed with his body of work.

He sat down with Filmmaker Magazine a few years ago and gave these 10 lessons for directors. I've kept it bookmarked ever since, and whenever I need a little creative inspiration, I pull it back out.

Since it's still movie week, I'm throwing it up here for you, too.

1. Growing up is for losers. 

As a child, I always drew funny creatures, funny characters. But I think the trick is not to grow up, not to learn to be an adult. And if you can maintain the kind of imagination you all had when you were babies, you would all be wonderful filmmakers. But the world tries to make you grow up, to stop imagining, stop fantasizing, stop playing in your mind. And I’ve worked hard to not let the world educate me.

2. Film school is for fools. 

Live and learn how to make films. I didn’t go to film school. I just watched movies in the cinemas. And probably my greater education was actually making films, so that’s all I would ever say: watch movies, get a camera, make a movie. And if you do it enough times, eventually you start learning how films are made.

3. Auteurism is out. Fil-teurism is in. 

Being an auteur is what we all dreamed of being, as far [back] as the films of the late ‘50s and ‘60s, when the idea of the auteur filmmaker arrived on the planet. And people kept using that term, and they do with my movies because I suppose they are very individual and they give me all the credit, so they say I’m an auteur. And I say no, the reality is I’m a ‘fil-teur.’ I know what I’m trying to make but I have a lot of people who are around me who are my friends and don’t take orders and don’t listen to me, but who have individual ideas. And when they come up with a good idea, if it’s one that fits what I’m trying to do, I use it. So the end film is a collaboration of a lot of people, and I’m the filter who decides what goes in and what stays out.

4. Put your ideas in a drawer. Take them out as needed. 

I do have a drawer in my desk with all the ideas that I have and that I scribbled out. I put them in there and some day I use them. At the beginning of a new film, I often go in that drawer and look at everything I’ve done and see if there are some ideas that might apply to what I’m doing. But things grow, so I just start with a sketch and then refine it. And you do it with other people’s ideas coming in. That’s the fun part.

5. All you’ve really got in life is story. 

I think the important thing is stay true to what you believe. I mean it’s much more important to make your mistakes than somebody else’s mistakes. Like too many other filmmakers have compromised because somebody advised them [that] if you change this, the film will be more successful commercially. And then the film isn’t successful commercially, and these people get so depressed and destroyed because they didn’t ever finish making their film the way they intended it. You’ve got to believe in what you’re doing. And you’ve got to be willing to take the consequences of whatever it is. If you succeed, fantastic. If you fail, you might have to get a proper job.

6. Command the audience with your lens. 

I keep wanting to see more of the world always. When I’m looking through the camera, when we’re setting up a scene, I don’t feel like I’m in the scene. And the wide angle lens, because we see so much, it seems to wrap around me a little bit. I also like the fact that with long lenses, the director controls the audience much more because you show the audience only exactly what you want. Everything else can be out of focus. And I like it to be a little bit more vague so the audience has to be aware of the environment as well as what I want them to look at. I don’t want to really separate the character from the world that it’s in. So the world is as important, and the rooms and everything, as the character sometimes.

7. Nothing can defeat a director who is one with his actors. 

I think the key is to make sure that the cast, especially if they’re big Hollywood superstars, likes the movie. My first film in Hollywood was The Fischer King, and Robin Williams and Jeff Bridges are playing the two leads. And I knew as long as Robin, Jeff and I were united, there was no way the studio could break it, and the film would go out. Same way with Twelve Monkeys. Brad Pitt, Bruce Willis and I were one. In both instances those films went very smoothly.

8. Surround yourself with improvisers. 

I like the actor to surprise me all the time because the problem when you’re making a film, if you've written it and you’re directing it, you've been with it so long, it becomes a bit rigid. It can become mechanical when you’re shooting because you’re just trying to do exactly what you were thinking about for the last year. And what’s wonderful is when the actors come in and they do something that’s completely surprising, and suddenly every day becomes fresh. And it makes me stay awake.

9. Directing is not for the faint-of-heart. Or the sane. 

What I love about Don Quixote is that he keeps misinterpreting the world. He thinks the world is either worse or better or whatever. He gets it wrong every time. But in the end he has these heroic, epic moments, and he seems to be unstoppable. He just goes on and on and on. I think it’s a great example for people, especially in film, in how to get through life, because film can often be incredibly disappointing. What I like about the Don Quixote documentary is that so many other filmmakers when they saw that, they started telling me their stories of equally horrible disasters. It’s a very difficult business. [Lost in La Mancha] should discourage anyone who is not willing to live in a world where disasters like that occur. Don’t make films if you’re not going to be able to deal with things like that. I’m always working on it and one day it will happen. It’s changed me. If you’re going to make a film about Don Quixote, you’ve got to be as mad as Don Quixote, so the nature is helping me go crazy.

10. Be an enlightened despot. 

I expect the actors to really be totally committed to the film and to their character and forget about who they are. Get rid of your vanity. Just be whatever the character demands. I think it’s horrible when I hear stories of actors coming and they bring their own makeup people and their hairdresser. Wait a minute, what’s going on here? The power is in the wrong hands. And if you let the power go to the actor, then you’re not directing the movie. And the actor is not thinking about the entire movie. Only the director is thinking about the entire movie. I don’t ever want to be the guy that is saying, “this is the only way that it can be done.” I don’t want to be a dictator. That’s not interesting. It’s interesting if you can have a dialogue going all the time and trying to all agree to find what is the best way for this film to go.

Bonus Lesson: And whatever you do, don’t ever work with the Weinsteins. 

I suppose it would have been nice to have made more films in the 71 years that I've been hanging around this place. And if I have a regret, there’s only one really, and that was working with the Weinsteins [giggles]. That’s the only one.

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

"IT'S ALRIGHT, IT'S OKAY, THERE'S SOMETHING TO LIVE FOR! JESUS TOLD ME SO!"


There's been a bunch of great stuff online over the past few weeks and it really got me thinking long and hard about movies again. It got me thinking about what makes a good movie and what it takes to make a great movie.

The Dissolve, a site started by a bunch of great writers, does this thing called "Movie of the Week" where they pick an older movie and write about it for a few days. A couple of weeks ago, they chose AMERICAN MOVIE.

This has always been one of my favorite documentaries for many, many reasons. The story of Mark Borchardt trying to get his great American movie, NORTHWESTERN, off the ground is nothing short of brilliant. Chris Smith spent two years following Borchardt and his friend Mike Schank as they go through their pretty boring lives in Milwaukee. Borchardt is in his mid-30's, lives at home with his parents, works at a funeral home and is pretty much the definition of a failure.

He's trying desperately to change that perception though, and he's convinced that if he can just get a little bit of money, he can finish COVEN, use the profits from that to finance NORTHWESTERN and ride off successfully into the sunset of his life. It doesn't quite work out that way.

AMERICAN MOVIE is really a brilliant documentary about life and about the process of making movies. It's a documentary that makes me think two different things.

1) You have to be pretty talented and incredibly lucky to start and finish a movie.

2) I'm more talented and way luckier than Mark Borchardt, right?

I'm pretty sure the answer to number two is a resounding "yes!" but I can't be sure. For one thing, making movies in the mid-to-late 90's was WAY harder than it is today. Before everything became digital, you had to know a lot about all the different equipment. Shooting on film was expensive and editing on a Steenbeck and splicing parts together by hand was incredibly difficult - far more so than shooting on an iPhone and importing everything into iMovie or Final Cut. Borchardt may be a hapless, bumbling, drunken fool, but when it comes to actually working film equipment, he knows his shit.

I don't know how to do any of that stuff. That's why I always second guess myself when those questions arise.

If you've seen AMERICAN MOVIE, head over to The Dissolve and read all the great stuff they compiled for it. There's the keynote essay, an interview with director Chris Smith 15 years later, and a round table discussion between all the writers.

If you've never seen AMERICAN MOVIE, what's wrong with you? Call me ASAP. I own it. I'll let you come over. I've got snacks, drinks, a comfortable couch... It's a hell of deal, really.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

HAROLD RAMIS


There's not a whole lot to say that hasn't already been said here.

Harold Ramis was one of my comedy idols. He's not on the same level as Steve Martin or David Letterman, and probably wouldn't end up on my "Mount Rushmore" (since that's been the phrase of choice lately), but the man was definitely up there.

He had a gift and a voice that lent to some amazing work over the years. Not everything he touched was gold (I'll probably never watch YEAR ZERO), but a lot of it was great.

Look at the list of stuff he wrote:

SCTV - Second City TV was a Canadian sketch show where Ramis got his start along with John Candy, Eugene Levy, Rick Moranis, Catherine O'Hara and Martin Short. That's a hell of a team.

From there, his resume just includes one seminal comedy after another with ANIMAL HOUSE, MEATBALLS, CADDYSHACK, STRIPES, GHOSTBUSTERS and ANALYZE THIS. There were a few stinkers here and there, but Jesus. Those are the movies he wrote from scratch. 

Then we move on to his directing resume and, if you're not blown away by this, then I think you're in the wrong place.

CADDYSHACK, NATIONAL LAMPOON'S VACATION, GROUNDHOG DAY, MULTIPLICITY, ANALYZE THIS (and THAT), THE ICE HARVEST (a really, really underrated movie, by the way) and a bunch of episodes of THE OFFICE when it was in its prime. 

Sure, a few more clunkers in that category too, but come on!

As an actor, he appeared in a lot of those, but he also appeared in a bunch more where I'm sure he had a hand in some of the material, even if he didn't get the credit.

Harold Ramis, along with Bill Murray and John Hughes were responsible for my favorite movies from the time I was born through 1995. That's just a fact.

There aren't a whole lot of celebrities that I'll miss, but Harold Ramis is definitely one of them.

Egon Spengler: There's something very important I forgot to tell you.
Peter Venkman: What?
Spengler: Don't cross the streams.
Venkman: Why?
Spengler: It would be bad.
Venkman: I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, "bad"?
Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Ray Stantz: Total protonic reversal.
Venkman: Right. That's bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.

Monday, March 10, 2014

"YOU'RE SO MONEY AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IT."


I've decided that this whole week is dedicated to movies.

It's not lost on me that this blog is mostly about movies anyway, but this week we're getting specific. This is actually what I was going to do last week, kicking it off with the Oscar recap, but then I ended up having kind of a lot to do after work each day and couldn't get to it. So I pushed it back a week! Everyone's cool with that, right?

Doesn't matter. We're doing it anyway! Let's start here.

I went to college for a while. A couple of different times, actually. I enjoyed it, I learned a few things, and thought it was helpful - for the most part. I absolutely hated that they kept pressuring me to declare a major and start tailoring my class schedule around that one subject. I get why they do it. It makes sense because you can't have thousands of 18-22 year old kids wandering around a campus with no direction (although with how fucking expensive tuition is, I'm surprised they didn't encourage more students to take ultimately meaningless classes for longer period of time. College is kind of a sham like that.).

My biggest problem is that what you want to do when you're 18 isn't always what you end up doing. Most of the time you don't even get close. If you're a doctor, then sure, you're probably always going to work in the medical field, but aside from that, it's wide open. I know a guy with an anthropology degree that works in advertising. Another guy went to law school and works at Overstock.com now. I'd be genuinely shocked if "what you majored in" and "what you're doing now" is ANY better than 50/50.

It's a crap shoot, really. When I was 19, the guidance counselor (or whatever it's called in college) at the University of Utah kind of forced me to choose a major. I was wide-eyed and idealistic back then, so I chose Film. I wanted to make movies. Gradually it changed to Film Studies, because I didn't really see how you could make a living making movies, but I thought there might be a decent future in at least writing about movies. I tacked on a Creative Writing minor for good measure and went through the motions.

Then I got a job writing about movies for the U of U paper and guess what? I didn't really like doing it. I still love reading a few people that write about movies for a living, but the market is so saturated with them that you have to wade through 6 or 7 really bad, link-baiting bullshit pieces to get to the good ones. I have 4 or 5 film writers that I really enjoy reading, but don't trust them 100%. I can make up my own mind.

Maybe that's where I went wrong with my film reviews, though. I tried to write about film in a way that wasn't a straight review, but more of a conversation revolving around my opinion. That turned off a lot of people at the U and I got a lot of hate mail.

Apparently, anyway. No one actually told me how to do my job as A&E Editor, so I made it up as I went along. I didn't know there was an official email address that was collecting everything sent to me until halfway through the second semester. Then I got 6 months worth of emails in a single afternoon, and stopped reading after about 15 people were just complaining about how I sucked at reviewing movies.

That turned me off from writing about movies, but it never turned me off from writing movies or dreaming of making them.

The point of this long, rambling piece is that I'm okay with the path I've chosen, and I never really miss making movies until I read things like this Oral History of SWINGERS piece. This is the kind of thing that makes me want to just drop everything, write a movie, then figure out how to make it.


Since you've already spent time listening to me whine about the collegiate system, you may as well spend another half an hour reading this. It's a really, really great article with all the key players represented. Jon Favreau talks about how he was able to get it made, Doug Liman talks about the tricks he had to pull to get some of the shots (the part where they talk about filming the scene on the side of the road on the way back from Vegas is worth it alone), and Vince Vaughn talks about everything else.

It's movies like this that make me think I could do it. The market is so saturated now, and literally everyone thinks they're a filmmaker that it's impossible to stand out unless you end up with something transcending and brilliant. 95% of the time that won't happen, but it's nice to think about.

Maybe I'll get to it sooner or later. I didn't buy that screenwriting software for nothing.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

MOSTLY RIGHT


I didn't plan on watching the Oscar's on Sunday night - it just kind of happened. The plan was to watch TRUE DETECTIVE in real time, hate-watch THE WALKING DEAD on my DVR, and then queue up GIRLS on HBO On Demand. By that time it would be 9:30 (Salt Lake time) and I'd be able to catch the last half and hour of the Oscar's and see the big winners.

But that plan fell through, and I ended up watching most of it.

The show started at 6:30 and TRUE DETECTIVE started at 7, so I watched the first half an hour, and I've got to say, I was really impressed with Ellen's opening monologue. Never been much of a fan of hers, but that nearly turned me. Then she ad-libbed the rest of the show, it got really boring and I lost interest again. In the hour that I was watching Marty Hart and Rust Cohle get into some dark, dark shit, nothing important happened during the awards. I didn't miss a single category that mattered (to me, anyway).

Most of the show was really, really boring. I put it on mute so much that you'd think the broadcast team was Matt Harpring and Craig Bolerjack. Ther only real surprise was that AMERICAN HUSTLE was shut out completely. I think that's a good thing. It was a fun movie that I really enjoyed, but it wasn't the best at anything.

Let's look at my six picks/predictions and see what I got right, shall we?

Best Actor
My Pick - McConaughey
Winner - McConaughey
This is what he's been up to the last three years: BERNIE, KILLER JOE, EASTBOUND AND DOWN, THE PAPERBOY, MUD, MAGIC MIKE, DALLAS BUYERS CLUB, THE WOLF OF WALL STREET and TRUE DETECTIVE. That's an astounding run. Good on him. MUD still might be my favorite movie of 2013, by the way.

Best Actress
My Pick - Blanchett
Winner - Blanchett
Of the nominated performances, I only saw Sandra Bullock and Amy Adams, but I still figured Blanchett would win. I don't have any facts to back up why.

Best Supporting Actor
My Pick - Leto
Winner - Leto
Maybe next time, Barkhad. Maybe next time.

Best Supporting Actress
My Pick - Nyong'o
Winner - Nyang'o
I've still only seen AMERICAN HUSTLE, but I knew Lawrence wouldn't win twice in a row.

Best Director
My Pick - David O. Russell
Winner - Alfonso Cuaron
I honestly didn't think Cuaron had a chance, but I was happy to be wrong.

Best Picture
My Pick - "AMERICAN HUSTLE. 12 YEARS A SLAVE might sneak in if it doesn't win the Best Director award."
Winner - 12 YEARS A SLAVE
I was half right.

Other notable wins that I didn't care to predict ahead of time:
Spike Jonze won best original screenplay for HER and I'm 100% okay with that, even though I haven't seen the movie. Spike Jonze is the best though, so I'm always happy for him.

John Ridley won Best Adapted Screenplay for 12 YEARS A SLAVE. I haven't seen it, so sure. His feud with Steve McQueen made that one a little bit awkward, but it was nice to see some animosity on a night usually filled with ass-kissing.

"Please Mr. Kennedy" didn't even get nominated (because it was ineligible, of course) and that's a fucking travesty. That song was brilliant in every possible way. That would have been the only musical number I watched.

Not a bad night for me, pick-wise and it was a really good year for movies, all things considered. Hopefully 2014 is just as good. Though it's already March and I've only seen two movies in the theaters this year. I've gotta change that.

Monday, February 3, 2014

"I'M ALWAYS HOME. I'M UNCOOL!"

"Jim Morrison? He's a drunken buffoon posing as a poet."
The world lost a great actor yesterday and it's a true bummer. Philip Seymour Hoffman was found dead in his Manhattan apartment, most likely of a drug overdose.

I don't have anything profound to say about addiction and my "It's all in the game" attitude towards drugs and their consequences is probably a little on the insensitive side. That's only because I've never had problems with addiction and neither has anyone in my family. The worst thing I've ever had to deal with is male-pattern baldness and poor hearing. Those two things are a walk in the park compared to addiction - and I can get some great jokes out of them, too.

Sad to see Hoffman go out that way and that early in life because he was one of the greats. I remember a few years ago, I was visiting some friends in New York City. My friend Dan took us to his office on the Lower East Side near the Hudson River. As we wandered around the neighborhood, we stopped at a coffee shop. Dan went inside and I leaned back against a railing outside. There was an old, battered road bike locked up right next to me, and I pulled out my phone to check Twitter.

I heard a guy say "Excuse me," and I realized it was his bike and I was blocking the way. I said "sorry" and moved aside, still mostly paying attention to my phone. Gardner nudged me, I looked at him and he nodded towards the guy. It was Philip Seymour Hoffman whose bike I was standing next to. He unlocked it, put on his bag and rode off as Gardner tried to pull out his phone to take a photo. He just blended right in to the rest of the people wandering around NYC, and I suspect that's how he liked it.

My favorite performance (and one of his best, arguably) was as Lester Bangs in Cameron Crowe's best movie (no argument there) ALMOST FAMOUS. Crowe took a few minutes to write about the genius of Hoffman this morning on his blog (The Uncool). It's one of the highlights in a film filled with them, but I'll never forget some of the things that Hoffman as Bangs said, because they rang true then and still do (to an extent) today.

He was a great actor and he'll be missed. As Sean O'Neal from The AV Club said last night:



Here's what Crowe had to say. If you've never seen ALMOST FAMOUS or if it's been a while since you have, I'd say it's time to change that. You can even borrow my copy if you want. Just not today. I'll be watching it myself later on.
My original take on this scene was a loud, late night pronouncement from Lester Bangs. A call to arms. In Phil’s hands it became something different. A scene about quiet truths shared between two guys, both at the crossroads, both hurting, and both up too late. It became the soul of the movie. In between takes, Hoffman spoke to no one. He listened only to his headset, only to the words of Lester himself. (His Walkman was filled with rare Lester interviews.) When the scene was over, I realized that Hoffman had pulled off a magic trick. He’d leapt over the words and the script, and gone hunting for the soul and compassion of the private Lester, the one only a few of us had ever met. Suddenly the portrait was complete. The crew and I will always be grateful for that front row seat to his genius.



Friday, January 17, 2014

AND THE NOMINEES ARE...

Letterman is still king.
Even though I’m waaaaay behind on movies this year, let’s talk about everyone else’s favorite talking point—the Oscars!

I haven’t seen everything this year. I haven’t seen anywhere near as much as I would have liked. When all of your friends get married or move to California and you don’t have a GF to drag along to movies she probably doesn't want to see anyway, the thing that suffers the most is how many movies you actually see over the course of a year. Sunday Night Movie is pretty much dead and the Half-Assed Reviews are on life support, but we’re not here to talk about that stuff. You’re here to listen to me wax intellectual about the 2014 Oscar nominations, so let’s get to it.

The Oscars are a very flawed system - especially when it comes to the writing categories - but they're 1000 times better than the Golden Globes. That's not saying much though. Anyway...

Best Picture
AMERICAN HUSTLE – Great performances and a fun movie to watch. I completely forgot I had seen it when I woke up the next morning and I couldn’t really explain the plot if I tried. That doesn’t bode well for its longevity. But no one gives a shit about long-term, so this is going to win.
CAPTAIN PHILLIPS – My friend Casey told me it was a “steaming pile of shit” and to stay away from it. Two weeks later he asked me if I’d seen it because he thought it was really good. I don’t know, man. It’s not going to win.
*UPDATE* I saw it yesterday. I really liked it. I don't think it was "Best Picture" quality, but it was really good. Casey's first reaction was completely wrong, his second reaction was more on the nose.
DALLAS BUYERS CLUB – I want to see this win because I’m 100% on board with McConaughey’s reinvention. But I also haven't seen it, so I have no idea how good the movie itself actually is.
*UPDATE* I saw this yesterday, too. I didn't really like the movie as a whole. I don't know exactly why, but I didn't. McConaughey was great though. He'll win Best Actor, but I don't think there's any way that anyone loved this movie the way some people love AMERICAN HUSTLE or any of the others. It's on the list because it's an "important" movie, but it's not great.
GRAVITY – Somewhere, there’s an idiot watching this on his iPhone bitching about it. This is a movie that was made to be seen in a theater. It’s a fantastic experience. The movie’s not amazing, but it’s really fun to watch. In a theater. Don’t watch this on your god damn phone.
HER – Spike Jonze has never done anything wrong. I haven’t even seen this movie and I stand by that statement 100%.
NEBRASKA – I want to see this because I loved Alexander Payne’s first two movies and Bruce Dern was in THE BURBS, so in my eyes he’s good forever.
PHILOMENA – I just don’t care. Simple as that.
12 YEARS A SLAVE – I’ll see this eventually. This is the only threat to AMERICAN HUSTLE, but I’m not sure how much of a threat it is.
THE WOLF OF WALL STREET – I had a blast watching this. Every stock broker is a huge asshole and if you thought this movie in any way glorified what they were doing, you probably didn’t actually see the movie.

TOO LONG, DIDN'T READ PREDICTION: AMERICAN HUSTLE. 12 YEARS A SLAVE might sneak in if it doesn't win the Best Director award.

Best Actor – Christian Bale, Bruce Dern, Leonardo DiCaprio, Chiwitel Ejiofor, Matthew McConaughey
I’m always rooting for DiCaprio, but I think it’s going to be McConaughey. I hope it is. If I still haven’t seen DALLAS BUYERS CLUB by then, I’ll just pretend he won it for MUD which I loved. Or for Wooderson in Dazed and Confused because that’s an all-time great character.
*UPDATE* Tom Hanks should be on this list instead of Christian Bale for the last 10 minutes of CAPTAIN PHILLIPS, alone. He shouldn't win, but those 10 minutes were better than Bale's entire performance. Bale also gets knocked down a few points each time I think about his awful, awful Batman voice. No matter how good he may be in what I'm currently watching, he'll never get past that voice.
TOO LONG, DIDN'T READ PREDICTION: McConaughey

Best Actress – Amy Adams, Cate Blanchett, Sandra Bullock, Judi Dench, Meryl Streep
This is a five-way toss-up, and I say that mostly because I've only seen 2 of the 5 performances. Am I an asshole if I root for Amy Adams solely based on her amazing cleavage in AMERICAN HUSTLE? Probably! I’m doing it. No chance to actually win, but that's my vote.
TOO LONG, DIDN'T READ PREDICTION: Cate Blanchett

Best Supporting Actor – Barkhad Abdi, Bradley Cooper, Michael Fassbender, Jonah Hill, Jared Leto
You know how sometimes you’ll meet a celebrity and they’re just a colossal asshole that’s just dripping with condescension and ego and it just ruins them forever? From that point on, you just root against that person and hope they fail over and over again. But when they don’t fail and just become more famous and popular instead, you start to hate them even more. That’s how I feel about Jared Leto. I fucking hate that guy. So he’ll probably win and I’ll have to listen to every girl I know talk about his god damn hair. Fuck.
*UPDATE* I'm officially rooting for Barkhad Abdi because of his performance in CAPTAIN PHILLIPS. He was really, really good and held his own against Tom Hanks the whole way. Also, because fuck Jared Leto.
TOO LONG, DIDN'T READ PREDICTION: Jared Leto

Best Supporting Actress – Sally Hawkins, Jennifer Lawrence, Lupita Nyong’o, Julia Roberts, June Squibb
Honestly, as long as Julia Roberts doesn't win I’ll be fine with anyone else. I’ll root for Jennifer Lawrence because that will be fun and she was really good in AMERICAN HUSTLE, but she’s not allowed to win twice in a row, right? She’s not Tom Hanks, for Christ’s sake. Lawrence's movie is also the only one I've seen out of these 5, so that helps her a lot. I'm an excellent film writer.
TOO LONG, DIDN'T READ PREDICTION: Lupita Nyong'o because Wesley Morris thinks so. I like that guy

Best Director – David O. Russell – AMERICAN HUSTLE, Alfonso Cuaron – GRAVITY, Alexander Payne – NEBRASKA, Steve McQueen – 12 YEARS A SLAVE, Martin Scorsese – THE WOLF OF WALL STREET
This one comes down to Russell vs. McQueen, with Cuaron right behind them. I’m going to guess McQueen because reasons. Then again, according to the L.A Times, 94% of the Academy voters are white and most of them are over 60 years old. That means there’s a good chance that a majority of Academy voters are afraid of black people. It’s 2014 and that’s what Steve McQueen is up against.

TOO LONG, DIDN'T READ PREDICTION: Steve McQueen.

There you have it. Those are my half-assed Oscar predictions.We'll check back in a month or so to see what else I got around to watching and what actually won.

What do you think should win, what do you think will win and what are you surprised got left out?

P.S. I didn't mention the BEST SCREENPLAY and BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY awards or how INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS got shut out, because those may be posts for another day.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

GREAT MOVIE TITLE SEQUENCES


If you're unaware, I'm slightly obsessed with title sequences and title cards. I talk about it kind of a lot (like here, here, here and here) and I'm not ashamed.

I can write just about anything, but I couldn't draw a straight line if I had a ruler. Drawing and design work is something I love, but I'm just not cut out for.

This link has been sitting in the "Don't Forget" bookmark of my browser since October of 2012. I totally forgot about it. Like I said before, 'timely' isn't something I pay much attention to in regards to this site.

It's an article from Creative Bloq where they get a few of their favorite designers to tell them why they love certain title sequences. A few of them are classics, like STAR WARS and VERTIGO and then there are a few new entries like SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD and ENTER THE VOID (which Kanye West used as an inspiration for his "All of the Lights" video.

It's definitely worth your time. Take a few minutes and read it now, or bookmark it and forget about it for a year or so. It's up to you.



Tuesday, October 22, 2013

MONSTERS INCORPORATED


Not everything needs a shared universe, but since one company has basically been printing money by doing just that, everyone wants in on the action.

Let’s call it “The Marvel Syndrome.”

That’s not a knock against Marvel by any means, because I love that company. It’s the only publisher I read superhero books from on a regular basis – which, even as low as three or four titles, is still more than the competition. I don’t buy a single monthly DC title.

The Marvel movies have a plan that the studio laid out and is sticking to. Phase 1 started with IRON MAN, then THE INCREDIBLE HULK, IRON MAN 2, THOR, CAPTAIN AMERICA and they all built towards THE AVENGERS.

The studio is currently in the middle of Phase 2 which started with IRON MAN 3, then moves on with THOR: THE DARK WORLD, then CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER and GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY. All of those lead to THE AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON, which comes out in May of 2015.

The studio built a long-term plan and now they have a shared cinematic universe. It feels very real and the studio, writers, directors and actors have worked very hard to make it feel that way. Every actor that signs on for a Marvel Studios movie, signs a contract that has something like 10 appearances. That basically covers three stand-alone character films, three AVENGERS movies and a handful of appearances for them to pop up in other Marvel movies. It makes it feel real and it’s a nice little surprise when one of the other characters appears on screen – even if it’s only for a second.

DC is haphazardly throwing together their own shared movie universe, but they’re not doing a very good job with it. Ben Affleck (who I actually think will be great in this role) is the new BATMAN, and he’s going head to head with SUPERMAN pretty soon. Of course that means that everything that happened in BATMAN BEGINS, THE DARK KNIGHT and THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS never happened. Probably anyway. I’m not really sure how that will work. I am certain than in the eyes of Warner Brothers and the SUPERMAN VS. BATMAN movie, everyone is probably just pretending that GREEN LANTERN never happened. It’s kind of a mess over there and probably won’t be straightened out for a while.

Since Marvel has been successful with it, and since Warner Brothers/DC is trying to get it together, every other studio in town is trying to build their own shared universe.

The latest studio to throw out such an idea is Universal, and I kind of hate what they want to do.

Universal wants to resurrect all the classic monsters – The Wolfman, Frankenstein’s Monster, Dracula, Creature from the Black Lagoon, The Invisible Man, The Mummy, and the Bride of Frankenstein – and give them their own AVENGERS-style universe.

I love all the classic monsters and those characters are some of my favorite creations of all time. But they would be terrible now. The guy that is tasked with coming up with a plan for all of them is Roberto Orci and his writing partner Alex Kurtzman – two guys I have very, very little faith in. Let’s take a look at their recent track record:

THE LEGEND OF ZORRO
THE ISLAND
TRANSFORMERS/TRANSFORMERS 2
COWBOYS & ALIENS
STAR TREK/INTO DARKNESS

As much as I liked the first STAR TREK reboot (and thought INTO DARKNESS was pretty good, save for the whole Khan thing), I don’t like what they do with the movies they write. They try too hard to make them bleak and serious, and it just becomes too much. The tone they use for every project is the same and I don’t get excited about anything they're involved with.

The lone bright spot on their resume is FRINGE, which I only saw the first season of. It was pretty good, but not good enough for me to keep going.

Devin Faraci wrote a good piece on this the other day and I encourage you to read it. Essentially, he says that what makes these monsters so special is the make-up, effects and the actors that inhabited them back when they first popped out. There’s no way Universal Studios, Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman or any director (save for a few) would let those designs pass today. They’d have to be much scarier and pushed much, much farther.

By doing that, you kind of take away the soul of the characters. He also says that at this point in time, pretty much all of those characters are public domain. I could make a movie with Dracula, The Wolfman and Frankenstein’s Monster if I wanted to (and now I kinda do).

I’m all for new stories and new movies with those characters – they’re all-time classics that I would be happy to see again. I just don’t want Orci or Kurtzman anywhere near them. But if they do, if they absolutely have to be the guys to make this happen, I’d much rather they focus on trying to tell a good story with one character than worry too much about working them all in.

There’s a small chance that this plan could be great, but I won’t hold my breath.

After all there’s no way in hell that it could be better than the last time we saw all these monsters together in one place. No chance whatsoever.

Never forget.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

LETTERBOXD

 

Sadly, the Half-Assed Reviews have been pretty much non-existent as of late. I still see movies and have more time to write about them, but I just don't. My little notebook of movies I've seen in the theater is almost full. I started it in 2003 and it seems fitting that it'll be full by the end of the year. 10 years of movies in one little notebook. I'll probably hold on to it for a lot longer than I actually need to because I tend to keep things like that for no reason.

But the good news is that you can keep up with some extra half-assed reviews by following my Letterboxd account. I spent most of the night last night cataloging everything I've seen in the theater so far in 2013 and writing quick reviews for all of them.

It's a pretty cool little site. There's no app, but it's optimized for mobile use and works pretty well. It's mostly a place where I talk about how badass The Rock is and give most of the movies three out of five stars.

So far, my highest rated movie of 2013 is MUD and my lowest is JACK THE GIANT SLAYER.

You could always use another social media site to share pointless info with, right? So let's be friends.

www.letterboxd.com/trevorhale