DESCENDENTS

"Right girl didn't call and the wrong one's knocking. Everything sucks today."

TRUE AT FIRST LIGHT

A lot of times I'll tell people about all the fun stuff I do with my friends—all of whom are in their late 20s or early 30s—and I'm met with blank stares. They think about it for a few seconds and say something like, "Aren't you guys a little old to be doing stuff like that?"

This is what I always say to them.

THE WISDOM OF BOBBY FINSTOCK

"Let me give you a little bit of advice. There's three rules I live by. Never get less than twelve hours of sleep, never play cards with a guy who’s got the same first name as a city and never go near a lady who's got a tattoo of a dagger on her body.

 Now you stick with that and everything else is cream cheese."