MR. PRESIDENT...

It's President's Day today, so in honor of that, here are a few random facts about the men that have been in charge of the country over the years.

- Warren G. Harding once bet the White House China collection on a poker hand and lost.

- If you're the President, you're allowed to have extravagant pets. Thomas Jefferson had two bears given to him by Lewis & Clark, James Buchanan owned an elephant, John Quincy Adams had an alligator, William Henry Harrison had a goat and Teddy Roosevelt had a pet zebra.

- Abe Lincoln is the only President that was also a licensed bartender.

- Harry S Truman doesn't actually have a middle name. That's why there's no period after the 'S' when his name is typed, because it doesn't actually stand for anything.

- Teddy Roosevelt, an avid hunter, refused to shoot a bear cub on a hunting trip. The news picked up the story and a manufacturer invented the Teddy Bear, named after President Roosevelt.

- George Bush Sr. once vomited on the Japanese Prime Minister. Afterwards, the Japanese invented a new word, "Bushusuru", which means to vomit in public or 'do the Bush thing'.

- George Washington had to borrow $600 from his neighbor in order to get to his own inauguration. He then turned down the Presidential salary of $25,000 a year.

- John F. Kennedy's brain has been missing since the day it was autopsied and the coffin that transported him from Dallas to Washington was dumped in the Atlantic Ocean at the urging of his brother Robert.

FEEDING THE ART MONSTER

A few months ago, SLUG Magazine called me up to pitch a story idea. They wanted to do a feature on Anthony Lucero. The editor that called me, Esther, started telling me all about him, his art and the band that he played in, Gaza. I heard her out, then when she was done, and I had accepted the assignment, I let it slip that I actually knew Anthony already and was excited to be writing a story about him.

He and I go back a ways. We were never great friends, but we always got along really well, had a lot of mutual friends and almost played in a band together more than once. His old band Compilate played shows with Cherem and Tamerlane a whole bunch of times and they were really good.

He and I met up one afternoon and talked for nearly an hour about all kinds of things. He's an awesome guy and great artist and I was glad I got the chance to write about him.

Head over to the SLUG Magazine website to read the whole thing, or pick up an actual physical copy when you're out and about. February is a short month, so it'll only be on the stands for about another week and a half. Make sure you grab one. Anthony drew the cover art too, and it looks fantastic.

SLUG Magazine -- When the last bell rang at Valley Christian School in Kearns, 8-year-old Anthony Lucero gathered his things just like the rest of the students. Only instead of heading for the door to be free until the next morning, Lucero headed to another part of the building. 

Valley Christian School was a K-12 institution with around 60 students total. Lucero’s mom was an English teacher for the junior high– and high school–age kids, and was often stuck after hours grading papers and finalizing lesson plans—which meant that he would be stuck there, too. Lucero and his friend Garritt Tucker, whose mom was also a teacher at the school, needed a way to pass the time each day. The two of them would unfold sheets of computer paper—the kind that was attached together with feed strips down each side—lay them out and just draw. 

“We’d have contests to draw sharks and other creatures and just make them as long as we could,” says Lucero. “Every kid gets showered with praise for whatever they do, but that’s the earliest encouragement that I can remember.”

Read the rest of the article at SLUG

ARCHIVE REVIVAL - PERU

We took this trip in May of 2010. I still have a ton of video footage from it that I haven't done anything with. Originally, Casey came up with the idea—somewhat of an outlandish one, as is his M.O.—that we'd make a reality show out of our trip. We'd then sell that to someone at a network and then they'd pay for us to take more trips and go on more adventures. An awesome idea, but highly unlikely. I had a crappy video camera that I was taking and Casey went out and bought a really nice one to take along.

I didn't think we actually had a shot at a show, but it was going to be fun to try. Casey asked me why I was filming some static backgrounds at one point and I told him it was for cover footage—the footage that you add in transitions and during credits and the like. I'd get a few seconds here and there of the mountains or the streets to add in later.

As we were walking through the streets one day, I heard Brook say "What the fuck are you doing?" and Casey responded, "Cover footage!"

I looked over and he was bent over filming water running through the gutter. And he kept filming. There's about a minute of footage of water running through a gutter. You can't tell where it is. It might as well have been in my front yard. Brook and I looked at each other, laughed and kept walking. The next day, Casey was getting more cover footage, only this time he was filming through the open front door of a someone's home while they watched TV. He was filming the family watching TV. Surprisingly, they thought that was weird and shut the door on him.

When we got home, I uploaded all the footage on my parents computer because my laptop didn't have enough space. It's still there.

I keep telling myself that I'll get to it eventually, but who knows. My plan was to get a new desktop computer, install Final Cut Pro and teach myself to use it by practicing on the Peru footage.

To tide us over, I put together this trailer. It's still the only thing that I've done with it.

I haven't gotten a new desktop yet, though. Maybe one day. I need a job first. Blogging at trevorhale.com doesn't pay too many bills.

WOLVES & MARTYRS - THE ORIGIN OF VALENTINE'S DAY

*Ed. Note -- I post this every Valentine's Day because I had fun writing it and think it's kind of fun to read. Don't get upset about this.*

I miss the days when I had to come up with an awesome Valentine's Day box for school. I was pretty good at it and it was fun. Now it's just a day where I read girls complaining about it on the Internet.

But where did it come from? How did it start?

Allow me.

If you want to get all comic book-y, we can call this kind of a "Year One" type story.

In 3rd or 4th century BC, The Parentalia and Feralia Festivals of Purification were celebrated from February 13-18 to coincide with the Fertility Festival. The latter was a ritual not unlike the "Casual Encounters" section of CraigsList. All of the willing females would enter their names into a box and one by one, eligible men would step up for their turn. With a name in hand, the two would go off and what happened next was reffered to as a "rite of passage." You can use your imagination for what that entails.

Before that began however, there was the LUPERCALIA (from the Latin lupus, meaning "wolf"). During this day, priests—known as Luperci—from two colleges (Quintillii and Fabii) would meet at the Cave of Lupercal in the Palatine Hill, where a she-wolf was said to have nursed Romulus and Remus, the twin founders of Rome. There, Vestal Virgins would offer holy salt cakes and the priests would sacrifice a dog and a goat, smearing the animal blood onto the foreheads of youths of noble birth. Clad only in a goatskin thong, those same youths would later lead a band of revelers known as the luperci in the performance of such antics as whipping fields of crops and bystanders with a goatskin strip (known as the februa). Women gently lashed in such a fashion were thought to become fertile—even those known to be barren. The act of such lashings or whippings was known as februatio. Both this word and the word februa come from the Latin meaning "to purify." The naming of the month, February, is believed to have originated from these meanings.

Basically, February means "to purify by beating with a goatskin strip."

No flowers, chocolate or candy hearts yet.

When Christianity was eventually formed, it was attempted to replace the rituals with something a little bit more uplifting. Pope Gelasius outlawed the Lupercian Festival, but kept the name drawing part—just slightly tweaked. Instead of available women, the names of Saints were written on the papers and it was believed that the recipient (boys and girls participated in the drawing) would emulate the life of whichever Saint was chosen. This new system, while much more noble, was a lot less fun. Eventually, it was abandoned and the old "rite of passage" returned.

Those are the ones you don't hear too much about. This one however, is the most widely known part of the origin.

In Rome, 270 AD, Claudius II passed an edict that abolished marriage. He felt that married men made poor soldiers because they were loath to leave their loves ones for battle. The emperor craved a strong army far more than he cared about popularity and banned the act of marriage all together.

Valentine, a bishop of Interamna, disagreed with the Emperor and invited young lovers to come to him in secret to be joined in the sacrament of matrimony. Claudius soon learned of this "friend of lovers" and had the bishop brought to the palace. The Emperor, impressed with the young priest's dignity and conviction, attempted to convert him to the Roman gods to save him from otherwise certain execution. Valentine refused to renounce Christianity and imprudently attempted to convert the Emperor. It didn't work and he was sentenced to death. While Valentine was in prison awaiting execution, he fell in love with the blind daughter of the jailer, Asterius. Through his unswerving faith, he miraculously restored her sight—which bothers me because I still have to basically wait out a god damn cold. He signed a farewell message to her "From Your Valentine."

Soon after he left the note, actually on February 14th (or so history claims), Valentine was clubbed, stoned and then beheaded.

To recap, in case you got bored: Valentine's Day is essentially the celebration of torture, blood, sacrifice, random sex, wolves and martyrs.

I want a card with that on it.

(*Note - I wrote this after reading a few different histories relating to Valentine's Day on the Internet. Originally I circulated it vie LiveJournal, then MySpace. I put it together after reading something Warren Ellis posted way back in the day, so this is all his fault. Also, it's entirely possible that none of this is true or historically accurate at all. But it's far more entertaining.)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HENRY

I like this guy. He happens to share a birthday with another awesome guy by the name of Dan Christofferson, so I'm a little jealous. I only share a birthday with Tommy Lasorda and Scott Baio.

TRAILERS PARKED

I have a new thing I'm trying this year. It's hard. Not hard in a sense that it's physically demanding or anything like that, because in the grand scheme of things, it actually has no bearing on anyone's life.

But it is hard. Harder than I thought it would be.

This year, I'm not watching trailers on the Internet. I love movies, but the constant Internet coverage of them is lessening my enjoyment of them. It's gotten really bad lately. There are too many movie-bloggers fighting for "scoops" that they will literally print any crock of shit to get hits now. Some of them, anyway. We've talked about that before.

I still know about films that are in the works and I know what projects the directors that I like are working on, but I'm trying to end it there.

Not interested in the "first images from..." or a "sneak peek at..." I just don't care. Well, that's not true. I do care, but I only want to care when I'm sitting in a dark theater and the trailer starts playing. That's the first time I want to see anything from any movie from now on.

I remember back in 1998, the trailer for STAR WARS: EPISODE I was supposed to play in front of MEET JOE BLACK. I tried watching it online, but we only had dial-up at my parents house, so it didn't really work. I went to the theater that night to see a movie—can't remember what, but it definitely wasn't MEET JOE BLACK—but that's what I was looking for. I showed up about 45 minutes early for whatever it was I was seeing just to go in and watch the EPISODE I trailer on the big screen.

When THE DARK KNIGHT trailer was released, I didn't have the Internet at my house yet. I left work at the Happy Sumo early, walked upstairs and sneaked in to whatever movie it was playing before, watched it and left.

If that's what I have to do in 2013, so be it.

I'm done with Internet trailers. Take that movie bloggers.

Wish me luck.

NOIR

Someday I'll make a movie just so I can get the chance to do a "film noir" style credit sequence.

And maybe, if I'm lucky and creative enough, I can give the TOUCH OF EVIL opening a run for its money. It's one of my favorite opening sequences of all time. Watch it if you haven't before.

TOP 5 ANYTHINGS - 2012 - PT. 5

That was a fun week, right?

I want to thank everyone that took part—Erin, Casey, Elsha, Chris, Lauren, Mike, Brandee and Gardner. They were all great sports and made this little blog of mine pretty damn entertaining for a week.

Hopefully I can start doing more stuff like this more often. The iPhone takes pretty good video and I always have that on me, so be on the lookout. I've got some ideas.

And now, last but definitely not least, you guys get to look at my face for the next five minutes while I recount my own Top 5 of 2012. I couldn't force everyone else into it then not take part myself, but I did have the advantage of not having anyone else around to watch me while I recorded mine.

It's a little all over the place and I almost forgot what I was looking forward to in 2013, but only because I was busy thanking everyone for taking part and watching.

This is it. The last (probably) Top 5 video until next year. I'm acting as the Mariano Rivera—minus all the Jesus talk—of these videos and bringing it home.

Thanks for watching and keep checking back. I've got a lot of stuff to talk about starting monday morning. See you then.

TOP 5 ANYTHINGS - 2012 - PT. 4

We're on the home stretch with just two more to go.

That is, unless there's anyone else dying to make a Top 5 video. I'll keep doing these as long as I have people that want to participate, so don't hesitate to bring it up. We'll do it.

Today's video is two of my closest friends, Brandee and Gardner.

Brandee and I have know each other for well over a decade now and she's basically the Elaine to my Jerry—just without the dating background. She told me she'd do this, but then kept trying to avoid it until I trapped her one night and all but forced her to do it. She loved every second of it, though.

Gardner was the first person that ever signed up for these things, so by default he's required to be a part of it each and every year. But I love having him because he always has something fun to talk about and these things usually involve the two of us getting together for lunch, which is always great.

So there you have it. The fourth of five videos is ready to go. Check back tomorrow to see yours truly divulge my own Top 5 Anythings from last year.

Until then...

TOP 5 ANYTHINGS - 2012 - PT. 3

Another day, another Top 5 video.

We're still having fun, right?

Lauren actually put together a list of her Top 5 moments from 2011 last year, then I never called her to actually do it. I felt kind of bad about that, but we were able to rectify the situation and I headed over to her cat palace for a few minutes to get her favorite moments of 2012.

Mike Farfel has been a huge supporter of just about everything I've ever done, so it seemed like a no-brainer to have him do one of these things. He just finished writing a novel (which should be available for you to read sometime this year) but until then, you can check out his blog, Stay Asleep, to keep up with him.

I like both of these people a whole lot, so I'm glad they wanted to take part in this.

TOP 5 ANYTHINGS - 2012 - PT. 2

Things keep on rolling over here with part two of my Top 5 videos.

Two total newcomers to the game this year (I guess with the exception of Casey and Gardner, they're all newcomers) and I'm thrilled they wanted to take part.

Up first is my lovely friend Elsha. She's a hand talker, which was pretty adorable. Also, my friend Chris came by between writing articles and doing interviews for the Tribune and was probably the most prepared of anyone. I teamed them up because my cat decided that she needed to be in the video with both of them because she's an attention whore to company.

So here it is! Part two of the Top 5 Anythings with Elsha, Chris and a special appearance by Harley Quinn.

TOP 5 ANYTHINGS - 2012 - PT. 1

This is a little video project that I started a few years ago for GCA. I had my video camera and thought it would be kind of fun to just have everyone tell me what their 5 most favorite moments from the past year were. It could be anything. If you wanted to tell me the five best meals you had, that was on the table.

It was fun to do, so I did it again the next year. I forgot last year and just kind of assumed that no one cared or missed it. Then, around June, people started asking why I hadn't done one for 2011, so it sparked my interest again.

So I brought it back!

Most of January was spent gathering people that wanted to be on camera (and by camera I mean my phone) and then making sure I had a nice variety.

Part one is my go-to guy, the fail safe and always reliable Casey aka The Big Dogg. He's one of the guys that always gave me shit for falling off with the Top 5's, so I made sure he was one of the first to get his ready.

The other half of the video is a pretty girl named Erin that I didn't know (in real life, anyway) before last summer-ish, but she was game to be immortalized forever on Trevor Hale dot com, so she's definitely one of my new favorite people.

And with those rousing introductions, here's the first video. I've got 4 more, so check back throughout the week for the rest.

TWO IS NOT BETTER THAN ONE

*UPDATES*
 
Dez Cadena is now a member of the Kieth Morris version, now simply called FLAG. You can see a video of that version over here.

Greg Ginn, whose version is claiming the name Black Flag said his version was "not to be confused with the 'fake' Flag band currently covering the songs of Black Flag in an embarrassingly weak 'mailing it in' fashion." also released a new song that you can listen to here.

The AV Club probably has my favorite line yet about these two: "And meanwhile, Henry Rollins remains at home waiting for the red phone of justice to ring and looking at his tattoos."

The battle lines have been drawn. Whose side are you on?

Original post continues below:

There was a conflicting news report on the Internet this morning.

Not conflicting in the way you're thinking of. It was more personally conflicting and I still don't know how I feel about it.

Greg Ginn is reforming Black Flag with the intent of writing new music and putting out a new record. He recruited Gregory Moore, who played drums on the brief Black Flag reunion in 2003, Dale Nixon, which is actually Ginn's pseudonym for when he writes and plays bass, meaning they don't actually have a bass player and Ron Reyes to provide vocals. Reyes was the second vocalist for Black Flag, but didn't last long. He quit the band mid-set in 1980 because of escalating crowd violence. The band finished their set by playing an extra long version of "Louie, Louie" and asking crowd members to take turns singing. Reyes did provide vocals on the band's EP "Jealous Again" but was credited as Chevo Pedarast—a Spanish term for "pedophile". So they split on great terms.

Reyes replaced original vocalist Keith Morris, who quit the band because he wasn't getting along with Ginn but was getting along very well with cocaine and speed.

Speaking of Keith Morris, he's also reforming Black Flag.

His version has a bunch of shows scheduled and includes Chuck Dukowski, who played bass as Black Flag was gaining a huge reputation in the early years. He's credited with being the so-called "leader" of the band, mainly because Ginn was quiet and usually avoided the spotlight. Dukowski gave the interviews, helped establish the band's sound—along with Ginn's unique guitar style, of course—and kept them working and even acted as the band's manager after he was no longer in it. They've also got Bill Stevenson on drums and Stephen Egerton playing guitar. Stevenson had filled in for Black Flag numerous times before finally joining full-time in the early 80s—pulling double duty with Descendents. Egerton (from Salt Lake City and a member of Utah's very own Massacre Guys) never played in Black Flag, but played in both Descendents and All.

Henry Rollins and Dez Cadena have yet to announce their respective versions of Black Flag, but at this point, I wouldn't be surprised if it happened.

Actually no, I would be surprised if Rollins formed a different version. He and Ginn don't get along and I don't think they've actually spoken in a long, long time. I've heard him talk about it and read things he's written and he's reached out to Ginn a few times over the years and it's never panned out. I think he's content to just let things lie where they are between them. He gets along great with pretty much everyone in Keith Morris' version, so if anything, I'd expect to see him at a few of their shows. Maybe not on vocals, but definitely hanging on the side of the stage, just watching. I feel like he'd be content with that.

I still don't know how I feel about reunion shows. I've seen a reunited Earth Crisis, which was terrible but I've also seen a reunited Descendents, which was awesome. This could really go either way. If both of these bands came through Salt Lake (which they absolutely will not, by the way) and I had to choose between them, Keith Morris' version would definitely win.

In fact, that's what they should do. Both versions of Black Flag should tour and play the same city each night. Only here's the catch: they each play a different venue. You, as the audience, have to choose which version you want to watch. Whichever band gets the least amount of people can't be Black Flag anymore. There. I settled it.

The thing that bums me out the most about this is that dueling versions of bands that existed in the 80s is something that I thought only happened with shitty glam rock bands like Poison and Ratt.

I don't want to see one of my favorite punk bands follow that path. If that's the case, shitty VH1 reality shows can't be far behind. In fact, I think I just pitched one. I'm claiming ownership of it right now.

* header image taken from Overnight Drive.

ESCAPE FROM TOMORROW

This is exactly the kind of Sundance movie I like to see.

A lot of the issues that I have with Sundance is that it's become more of a launching point for studio movies that want to get some indie cred. Sometimes there's even a deal in place to buy/distribute a movie before it even screens, but it's a great way to get buzz.

Not all of the movies are like that, though. Some are the true embodiment of independent film—and there's no better movie to prove that than ESCAPE FROM TOMORROW.

It's kind of becoming the buzz-movie of the festival this year and I was lucky enough to catch it. It played late Friday and Saturday night, and that's when a lot of people started talking about it. Twitter kind of blew up and I became obsessed and had to see it. I checked the Festival site and it was listed for a 12:45 showing on Sunday afternoon at the Broadway Theaters. When I woke up that morning, I headed to the box office immediately. They had two tickets left. I got 'em. It was, as my friend Brandee would say, "such a Trevor Hale moment that it pisses me off."

ESCAPE FROM TOMORROW isn't a great movie. It's super low-budget, kind of uneven and the actors aren't all that great. The most impressive thing about it and the reason it's getting so much attention, is that it's filmed entirely in Disney World/Disneyland without Disney's knowledge or permission.

The crew had to pay their own way in every day and the director only sent script pages to cast and crew digitally—so no one was holding pages and it just looked like they were looking at their phones. They filmed on rides, used actual Disney patrons as background actors and extras (without their knowledge), used copyrighted music, and never once did anyone shy away from using the Disney name or logo.

Disney doesn't like that kind of thing. They don't like people using their brand without specific approval and you're never allowed to do anything that might tarnish their reputation—hence Wally World in VACATION, Mooby in Kevin Smith's movies, and so on.

They'd probably especially frown on movies that portray theme park princesses as high class prostitutes for foreign tourists, a married man stalking underage girls, kidnappings, adultery, nudity and all the other strangeness that supposedly occurs at the Happiest Place on Earth.

Like I said, the plot is nothing special or unique. It’s about a guy who, on the last day of his vacation in Disney World with his wife and two young children, finds out he’s been laid off. A bunch of weird David Lynch-ian, Stanley Kubrick THE SHINING stuff happens and then it’s over. It comes to a weird, unexpected conclusion that you don’t see coming because it doesn’t really make sense.

But beyond that, it's a fascinating exercise in guerilla filmmaking. Everyone at Sundance (even the filmmakers, to an extent) are pretty sure that Disney's lawyers will make it disappear sooner than later and that this might be the only time it sees the light of day. I wish the best for the director and all the actors, but I kind of hope that's the case. It'd be nice to be in the minority that actually got to see it.

ESCAPE FROM TOMORROW is exactly the kind of movie I want to see at a film festival. It was imaginative, creative, ballsy, unique, unforgettable and there's a chance that no one will ever see it again.

JANUARY

This thing has been pretty much offline since Christmas. Well, let's be honest, it was pretty bland most of 2012.

I know I said this last year, but I'm saying it again now, too.

I'm going to do more on here this year. I'm not sure what it is that I'm going to be doing, but there will be more of it.

The Half-Assed Reviews might make a comeback. I might use it as a place to just write for a little while each day because that's what I need to do. I'm not really sure.

Right now, I'm putting together the Top 5 of 2012 videos. I skipped it last year (here's 2010) because I didn't think anyone actually cared. Then, throughout the year, a few people asked why they hadn't seen them, which surprised me. So, I'm in the process of rounding up a few people that want to participate and go from there. The biggest change in the Top 5 this year? I found a few girls that want in on it. They actually volunteered. It was weird. But that's cool because it will be way more balanced and little bit more diverse.

You want in on the Top 5? Drop me a line. Let's do it. It's 2013 and you all have smartphones with video capability, so I don't even have to be there.

I'm also stockpiling some posts (the way I did last year) so I can roll out new stuff on a regular basis.

Do me a favor though. If you read this site regularly, what do you want more of? Hell, even if you only come once a week or once a month—as long as you know about it and it's a site you willingly visit on your endless trip through cyberspace, it means a lot to me.

So help me help you waste part of your day. What makes you keep coming back? Drop me an email or leave a note in the comments section. Also, if you have a huge problem with me or anything on the site, that's what anonymous comments are for, so go for it.

So come on. Let's party in 2013.