TO PROVE TO DAD THAT I'M NOT A FOOL

It's fall 2009 and I'm back up at the U of U campus. Again.

I graduated high school in June 1999 and started college that fall. Fall of 1999. I've been in college for 10 fucking years. At this point you may think I'm on my way to becoming a doctor, or a lawyer or something equally difficult, right?

Nope.

None of those things. I simply have no fucking clue what to do after I graduate. I'll have a degree in Film/Creative Writing and you know where that will get me? Nowhere. Might as well tell people I'm getting my degree in Unemployment—which I do from time to time and people find it funny and it always gets a good chuckle—but it's the fucking truth.

Right now I'd like to talk to you all about how despite my 10 year college career, I hate almost everyone on this campus. If I had to give it a number, it would be something like 82.8% of the people at this school are complete douchebags. Like the guys sitting at the table next to me in the Union. Plaid shorts, sandals, two t-shirts (white undershirt and a colored shirt with a bitchin' logo) and one guy with his collar still popped.

I was under the impression that popped collars stopped being cool a while ago, but I guess I was mistaken. This is going to be a long year if bullshit like this keeps up.

FROM THE PAST

I found a stash of cassette tapes and unmarked CD's the other day. I was afraid to listen to any of them for one reason—embarrassment.

I don't know exactly what's on them, but I have an idea. I'm always weary of listening to old mixtapes because I'm somewhat ashamed of the music I used to listen to. Now, a lot of it is still good and I'll still stand by that. There are a lot of bands I liked when I was 15 that I still like now (i.e. Misfits, Social Distortion and hell, Rage Against the Machine even) but for every good song that comes on I dread what might be right after it.

Keep in mind that I was 15 in 1995. That's a long fucking time ago. I didn't have any older siblings to get me into music. The only older guys I knew only listened to U2, so I was kind of on my own. Every couple of weeks, I'd take the number 7 bus down to Sugarhouse and wander around Raunch (which at that time, had moved to the old strip mall that was eventually torn down to make way for the Wild Oats) with babysitting money and try to guess what was going to be good. And usually I only had enough for one cassette single and some Taco Bell afterwards, so I had to choose wisely.

But I digress.

I pulled out one tape, popped it in my stereo (is it weird that I still have a stereo with a dual cassette deck?), hit fast-forward and stopped randomly and I knew exactly what was playing.

Lenny Kravitz - "Are You Gonna Go My Way?"
Not as bad as it could have been, but still. The only reason I ever owned anything by Lenny Kravitz is because I had a crush on a girl who loved him. Naturally, I thought the way to get her was to also love Lenny Kravitz. That didn't work and I was stuck with the man's entire discography purchased from second-hand CD stores with the rest of my aforementioned babysitting money.

Go again. Fast forward. Stop.

Live - "Lightning Crashes"
I don't know why I had this. It played on The Box all the time and it was easy enough to play on guitar. I made my band cover it a couple of times. I can't remember what we were called then. It was a little bit after we decided Renaldo and the Smoothies was too silly and before were came up the brilliance that was Rhythm and Rhymes. Back to Live. I saw them in concert when they opened for Bush and No Doubt, then they kind of faded away. I probably still have their second album on one of these tapes, too.

Fast forward.

Better Than Ezra - "Good"
This is still a good song. I stopped paying attention to anything they did afterwards, but this is solid.

Again.

Hootie and the Blowfish - "Hold My Hand"
Fuck. I don't have any kind of humorous anecdote for why I had this.

Fast forward.

Blues Traveler - "Run Around"
I'm convinced that harmonica sales tripled after this album came out. Then shortly afterwards everyone realized they weren't as easy to play as imagined and they all wound up at the DI.

Go again.

Dave Matthews Band - "What Would You Say"
This is what I was afraid of. I'm losing indie cred by the second and my hardcore scene points are flying out the door at record pace.

Fast Forward.

Soundgarden - "Fell On Black Days"
This is still one of my favorite bands. A little bit of redemption.

One more time.

Candlebox - "Far Behind"
God damn it.

That's just one tape. I like to think that as I got older my taste in music got better, but I'm afraid of all the shitty metalcore that awaits me on one of those unmarked CD's from the early 2000's. I don't think I can do that right now.